You have been seeing this girl for a while, spending a lot of time together, seeing each other every weekend.
You have been having a fun time together, going to the beach, hiking, or camping.
You were having a lot of great sex, and the chemistry was good.
But over the past few weeks, you noticed that she is becoming distant.
You are getting frustrated and asking yourself…
• “what did I do wrong?”
• “why is she acting cold?”
• “we enjoyed each other’s company!”
• “How can I get her back?”
• “I really ‘need’ her”.
How you respond to such a situation makes all the difference.
If you follow your instincts by chasing the girl and trying to her back…
she’ll lose attraction to you. She will pull away even further.
But if you realise why she is pulling away and respond the right way, she will come back to you. Even more attracted to you than before.
And that’s what I’m going to be talking about with you today.
In this post, I will identify the most common reasons why girls pull away, and how to make sure that never happens to you. I’ll also include what you need to do to get back your girl who acting cold and distant.
First and foremost, get this before we go any further…
the last thing you want to do when your girlfriend pulls away is trying to actively get back her attention.
Why? Because your actions will be coming from the wrong place. A place of neediness, low value and insecurity.
Why Do Women Pull Away?
#1. To test your confidence.
In the initial stages of dating, a girl may not be so sure about your confidence and strength even when she likes you.
Women want to get into relationships with guys who are strong and confident.
So a girl will pull away to be sure that the guy she is dating is not weak and insecure.
When a girl pulls away and you react emotionally by chasing her, pleading, getting angry, and anxious, it shows a lack of emotional strength.
A guy who is independent, confident and high value will never get emotionally unstable when his girlfriend pulls away.
An attractive guy who other girls find attractive will never get angry and anxious because his girlfriend has stopped picking his calls or replying to his texts.
#2. You became too available.
During the initial stages of dating, it is always easy to make a mistake of trying to spend a lot of time with an attractive girl.
When you spend too much time with your attractive girlfriend, it makes you look less valuable which kills the girl’s attraction.
When the girl’s attraction to you falls, she will always pull away. Attraction grows in space.
So whenever you suffocate the girl with too much attention, it will kill her attraction to you.
You need to always give your girl space to miss you and keep her wondering about you.
#3. You tried to rush the girl into a relationship.
When a man becomes focused on a relationship, it kills a girl’s attraction to him.
A man is supposed to focus on his career.
A man who tries hard to get a woman to commit to him is less attractive.
And that can only be explained in terms of evolutionary psychology.
But before I explain what that means, you need to first take note of this…
a modern woman’s sexual attraction to you relies on a primitive brain. A brain that evolved in women hundreds of thousands of years ago.
So let’s see what evolutionary psychology of attraction means.
Back in caveman days, women needed relationships to get protection and support from men.
A man who was confident, assertive and emotionally strong had higher chances of obtaining resources.
He was independent and didn’t need a woman to survive.
So that made him so attractive to the majority of females.
Over thousands of years, women have evolved to find confidence and independence in men so attractive.
When you show a woman that you want a relationship more than her, she instinctively feels that you are weak, insecure and less confident.
The point of all that is, it’s a woman’s role to get a man to commit to her lest he looks unattractive and super feminine.
We shall look at that later in this post.
Just keep reading…
#4. You developed oneitis.
Oneitis is when a guy feels like his girlfriend is so special and doesn’t find any other girl attractive.
When a guy develops oneitis, he feels like he will never find any other girls like his girlfriend.
The quickest way to kill a girl’s attraction is getting feelings of neediness.
It is a terrible mistake if you think that your girlfriend is a one in a million because you will become needy by default.
When you think that your girl is so different, you can easily develop oneitis.
And oneitis is bad. Oneitis is unhealthy.
It is bad for you and your girl.
It is bad for a girl because you are burdening her by making her the ultimate source of your happiness.
Girls don’t like guys who have developed oneitis because they are so controlling and can easily turn violent.
It is bad for your life too because you can easily lose focus of your life.
Instead of developing oneitis for the girl, develop oneitis for career, job or purpose in life.
The girl will respect you and love you a lot for it.
A guy who has developed oneitis will always love his girl way more than she loves him.
That sounds cool, right?
But here’s the problem…
when a man falls in love more than the woman, he loses most of the qualities that make him masculine and looks more feminine.
He gives his power away to please his girl and he’s always insecure because some guy may take away his main source of happiness.
So What Should You Do?
#1. Do not chase her.
This is emotionally hard to pull off if you enjoyed the attractive girl’s attention.
But this is also a good thing because it helps you improve on your internal strength.
Instead of chasing the girl, you should let her come to you when she is ready.
How the hell can that happen?
When a girl pulls away, it could be because she has lost some attraction to you.
If you do not chase her, she’ll start to think about you.
She will start to wonder what you are up to and intrigue will develop.
That will cause her attraction to you to grow.
Remember this: Attraction grows in SPACE!
And eventually, if she is worth staying with, she will re-engage you.
Why chasing a girl who is acting cold and distant is bad.
• You will be removing the space where attraction would have grown.
• It will make you look needy, insecure, and less confident. So, the girl will pull away further.
• You will lose your self-esteem and self-confidence
• You will waste time and emotions which you would have spent on making your life better.
#2. Develop an abundance mentality.
You must realise that you can move out there and attract other girls just like your girlfriend.
So if your girl is acting cold and distant…
what should you do?
Just go and talk to other girls. It’s that simple!
Plus, there is no guarantee (and I’m not giving you that) that she’ll ever come back.
There are plenty of attractive women out there just like your ex-girlfriend.
Only if you’re willing to put in some little effort, nonetheless!
You can find women here for free.
This will also help you to deal with oneitis.
It is very hard to get back a girl who’s acting cold when you still believe that she is so special and a one in a million.
It is also nearly impossible to chase after a girl when you know that there are so many attractive girls out there.
When you develop an abundance mentality, girls will always find you attractive.
Because you will always be willing to walk away from a girl.
So she will always see you as a challenge.
And girls love guys who are a challenge since most guys aren’t.
But when you show a girl that you have no options…
by showing her how you are so lucky to be with her, she’ll lose attraction to you.
She’ll think that other attractive girls don’t want anything to do with you.
Remember girls are attracted to preselection.
She feels special if she’s with a guy who other girls find attractive.
And you can pull this off by developing an abundance mentality.
#3. Focus more on improving your life.
If you focus on your life like a career, passions, improving your mental and physical health, you will not have too much time to spend with a girl.
If your girlfriend has pulled away…
• Sign for a gym membership. Lift weights. Get in shape. You’ll feel more confident and attract more girls.
• Call an old friend to hang out. Hang out with family or close friends.
• Work more on your goals, studies, business, career or whatever makes you fulfilled.
If you want to keep a girl’s attraction – assuming she hasn’t pulled away – then you need things that pull you away from her time to time.
This will create space for the girl to miss you.
And that is what you want.
You want your girl to be thinking about you because it is what keeps her attracted to you.
Unfortunately, when most guys get a girl they are so attracted to, they put most of their focus on the girl.
They want to text, call, have sex and hang out with their girl all the time.
But this lowers your value and, it will cause the girl to act distant.
Even if it’s your girlfriend always reaching out to you first like asking you to hang out or have sex, you must not accept every time.
If you really like a girl and want to keep her always attracted to you, then you need to create space before the girl needs it.
You must resist the urge to always be available to your girlfriend.
#4. Never try to rush a girl into a relationship.
You will always put a girl on a pedestal when you try to get her to commit.
You will, most of the times, always try to impress her.
If your girlfriend is acting distant and you have been doing it, just stop it immediately.
When a girl realises that you want her to be your girlfriend before she wants it, she’ll naturally start to play hard to get.
By, for example, pulling away from you.
But that’s when she hasn’t lost most of the romantic feelings she might have had.
“But I want her to become my girlfriend?” you think.
I get it, bro!
If a girl is hot and fun to be around, why just have sex with her for a while? Why not make her your official girlfriend, surely?
Then the question remains…
Let the girl be the one to bring up the idea of being exclusive first.
How? I can feel you ask!
But I will explain using clear examples.
• She might say things like “where is this (relationship) heading?”.
• She’ll want and/or start to introduce you to her close friends and family.
• She’ll demand that you introduce her to your close friends or family.
At this point, you can try to make her your official girlfriend.
The point I’m trying to make here is, your main role is to push for sex, not the relationship.
When the time is right – assuming you’re doing everything right- she’ll start to demand commitment.
Chances are high that when you are dating or in a relationship with a girl, she will pull away at any time.
It usually happens whether you are rich or poor, popular or not. She can go cold and act distant all of a sudden.
You should know how to respond the right way without completely killing the woman’s attraction to you.
If you respond with strength, patience and confidence, the woman will come back to you.
That being said, your girl might never come back even when doing everything right.
Why? Because she had completely lost interest. And there is nothing you could have done to get her back.
At that point, it will best if you moved on with your life.
And remember: NEVER CHASE!
Why do girls pull away?
1. To test you
2. You became too available
3. You rushed her into a relationship
4. Developed oneitis
What should you do?
1. Never chase when she pulls away
2. Develop an abundance mentality
3. Focus more on improving your life
4. Stop trying to rush her into a relationship.