5 Things You Should Do If Your Girlfriend Leaves You

You have been dating a girl for months or years. Now your girlfriend has decided to end your relationship. Weeks or months have passed […..]

You have been dating for months or years. Now your girlfriend has decided to end your relationship.

Weeks or months have passed since you separated.

Now you miss her so much and you can’t get over her. You are remembering and missing all the fun times you had together.

Now you are calling her, you are sending her messages and you are trying to check on her through friends.

You are doing whatever you can to get her back.

But Should you be doing that?

Should you be trying to get back with a girl who left you?

No! You shouldn’t be trying to get back with a girl who dumped you.

I know there is a lot of dating advice and programs that teach guys how to get back girls who dumped them.

I’m not going against guys who go for such programs, I actually recommend them, because…..

guys often end up learning a lot about dating, relationships and personal growth.

Most of the guys who enrol to get your ex-back programmes soon realise…..

that trying to get back with a girl who dumped them, it’s actually not the best option.

And that they would rather move on with other girls.

And that is what I will be writing about in this article.

And, it is actually a good thing.

Trying to get back with a girl who dumped is a bad idea because;

• You lose self-confidence and self-respect

• Even when you succeed at getting back the girl who dumped you, the problems that caused her to leave you will still there.

So What Should You Do instead?

Instead of working hard to get back with a girl who left you, this is what you should be doing.

Let’s get right into it!

#1. Invest in yourself.

A smart guy

Investing in yourself after being dumped will help you in a ton of different ways.

Often when guys get into relationships with women, they get complacent and completely ignore their game.

They ignore all the fun things, the friends and goals they had before getting into the relationship.

They ignore most of the things that made a girl become attracted to them in the first place.

Instead of keeping most of their focus on self-improvement, they put all their attention on a girl.

In a relationship, most girls will always try to fight for your full attention.

But, you should never get tempted and give your girlfriend a lot of attention.

She will eventually resent you for it in the long run.

For example, you may want to go and hang out with your guy friends but, your girlfriend says something like…..

“We should instead go and watch a movie together.”

Now because you love her so much (and I can completely understand this situation because am also currently in a relationship with a girl I adore), you ignore your original plans and hang out with a girl instead.

But, it’s not always the best decision.

It is important to have things like goals, friends, and passions that always pull your attention from her.

The game never ends.

When you get into a relationship, you need to up your game because keeping a girl always attracted to you in a relationship is even…..

much harder than approaching the girl or asking her out on a date.

So, when a girlfriend leaves you, it’s the perfect time to invest more in yourself.

• Invest in your health and wealth.

• Start working out if you were not. It increases your confidence, makes you feel, and look good. Lowers stress and depression.

• Start meditation. Its decreases stress and depression.

• Eat healthily.

• Create new passions or focus more on the passions that you already have.

• Practice positive affirmations.

It’s the negative self-talk that guys tell themselves which keeps them depressed and feeling like a loser after being dumped.

Investing in yourself will helpful because;

It will help you to get over the girl who dumped you, quickly.

• It will boost your self-esteem and self-confidence.

You will raise your value which will help you to become more attractive to girls. So, you can easily replace her.

• You won’t easily feel depressed and down because you were dumped.

A friend of mine was dumped and felt so depressed to the extent of losing his job.

He couldn’t do anything for himself and felt helpless.

When a girl leaves you, invest more in yourself so that you won’t feel stressed and depressed. It will also help you to attract other girls.

#2. Learn from your mistakes.

A guy feeling miserable

When a girl leaves you, what do you tend to remember about her?

Is it good, or bad things?

It’s often the good times, right!

It is always easy and natural to only remember the good things about the girl after she leaves you.

You always tend to remember a few, if any, bad things about the girl after she leaves.

So, what do your instincts push you to do?

To chase and get her back!

Now, what should you be doing?

Instead of rushing and trying to get the girl back, you need to take time, focus and think about the reasons as to why things didn’t work out between the two of you.

Maybe you ignored some red flags that you couldn’t tolerate.

You can use this opportunity to learn about the qualities that you need in a good girlfriend.

You may also need to take some time to reflect and see if you messed up.

It could have been your behaviours like insecurity and neediness that drove your girlfriend away.

Some behaviours that could have driven your girlfriend away.

• You over-invested in her, and she invested less in the relationship.

It becomes hard for a girl to leave a relationship she has invested in.

So, you must let girls invest in you or the relationship.

Over investing in a girl does not make her love you more. It just lowers your value and soon she will have to dump you for a guy who is a challenge.

• You became needy and clingy.

You called her too much, you texted the girl so much, and you could not spend a second without reaching out to her.

Neediness is the quickest way to kill a woman’s attraction.

You need to give your girlfriend space to keep her attraction and allow it to grow.

You need to give your girlfriend the time to miss you.

• You showed a lot of jealousy and became too controlling.

Showing jealousy comes from a place of insecurity and lack of confidence in your self.

This causes the girl to lose confidence in you too.

Whenever you start to have feelings of jealousy, suck it up, and let those feelings go.

I’m not meaning that you should let your girlfriend cheat, though.

If you get her cheating, it will be in your interest to end the relationship.

But, showing feelings of jealousy won’t solve anything.

Feelings of jealousy will make your girlfriend lose confidence and attraction.

Jealousy and Insecurity will turn you into a control freak.

• You gave the girl too much attention.

You shouldn’t misunderstand me, though. You have to give your girlfriend attention.

Because…..

Obviously!

She is your girlfriend.

But, calling your girlfriend all the time, texting her every second and getting down on her all day, every day……

Isn’t sexy bro!

It goes back to where I said that you need to always be investing in yourself.

You need to have things that pull your attention from her time to time.

• You entered a relationship for the wrong reasons.

¤ You felt so lonely.

¤ You needed a girlfriend because all your friends had one.

¤ Your parents pressured you to get a girlfriend.

¤ You wanted a regular and reliable source of sex.

#3. You have to learn about dating and relationships.

A girl holding her boyfriend

It’s your lucky day you are reading this article.

So many guys out there have no idea when it comes to keeping girls attracted to them.

Your ignorance about relationships could have been the reason as to why your relationship failed.

You could have made a lot of mistakes without even realising it.

Many guys, unfortunately, just obtain conventional knowledge if it comes to dating like…..

“love your woman as you would love yourself”

or….

“do whatever it takes to make your girlfriend happy”

or…..

“Just take her for expensive romantic dinner dates every weekend”

or….

Just be nice and know the right kind of flowers to buy her.

A picture of dating knowledge

There is some truth to the advice above.

But….

It will never work for the majority of guys.

Why?

It will work only if the girl is madly in love with you.

It will work only if the girl has put a lot of investment in the relationship.

Saying ‘I Love You’ to your girlfriend who is investing a lot in you will mean everything to her.

And, you should be doing it!

But, saying ‘I love you’ to your girlfriend who is ignoring you or who is not so much interested in you, to make her happy, will mean nothing.

She will look down on you!

Simply put….

Do things for your girlfriend only if you feel she has earned them.

Never do things because you feel like you need to earn her attention and affections.

If you do, you will be acting as a low-value guy.

And sooner, she will leave you for a high value who doesn’t feel the need to earn her affections.

#4. Develop an abundance mentality.

A guy surrounded by a bunch of hot girls

But we all know that being so nice or showing romantic interest in a woman has nothing to do with her attraction in us.

One of the problems with trying to get back with a girl who dumped a guy is the mindset it comes from…..

A scarcity mindset!

It is ok for a girl to think that you two are soulmates, but not the reverse.

First of all, there is nothing like the one.

You must neglect the soulmate mentality.

It used to make sense back in the day when women used to be slut-shamed by society for leaving their marriages.

Even when you succeed at getting the girl who dumped you back, but still have the soulmate mentality…..

you will not have solved the biggest part of your problems.

You must realise there are millions of beautiful girls out there more than you could possibly ever date.

This will always help you to get over the girl very fast and go date other beautiful girls who are out there.

Another thing…..

When you develop an abundance mentality, you will always be willing to walk away from a girl.

When a girl realizes that the relationship can end at any time, it keeps you as a challenge.

And when a girl views her boyfriend as a challenge, she will always feel a lot of attraction to him.

Your girlfriend never feels so attracted to you and, at the same time, dump you.

A big percentage of guys get dumped because they have a scarcity mindset.

So…..

When they get a girlfriend, they think their girlfriend is so special.

They give the girl too much attention, become too invested and start doing all sorts of needy and low-value behaviours.

The girl loses attraction and dumps the guy for one is high value, exciting and who doesn’t put her on a pedestal.

#5. Realise that you are in charge of your happiness.

A guy smiling and having fun

Your happiness as a man should come from the inside, not from your relationships with girls.

Making a girl as your source of happiness will make you needy and push the girl away.

You should focus on creating the life you want whether you are with a particular woman or not.

After creating a life you are proud of, let most of your happiness come from there.

Girls want to be a part of your life, not the other way round. She doesn’t want to be the main source of your happiness.

It is the biggest burden that you will ever give someone.

So, you have to focus on yourself and how you can be happy living on your own.

If you turn every girl you get into your main source of happiness, they will always leave you because no one wants to carry that burden.

CONCLUSION

Before you try to get back a girl who dumped you, you must first solve the issues as to why she dumped you in the first place.

After finding out those problems, then you must take action to solve them.

Until then, you will keep getting yourself dumped from time to time.

I hope this article has helped you    (and hey, if you think it’s cool, I’d appreciate it if you’d share on social media.)

What should you do if your girlfriend leaves you? in summary.

#1. Invest in yourself.

#2. Learn from your mistakes.

#3. You have to learn about dating and relationships

#4. Develop an abundance mentality.

#5. Realise that you are in charge of your happiness.

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