How To Text Girls And Build Attraction (A Clear Helpful Guide)

You are texting a girl and she stops replying and you are asking yourself where you messed up.

Or…..

You have spent weeks hitting up a girl and you are wondering when you should ask her out for a date.

Or…..

You have a girl’s number but you don’t know what to text her without killing her interest.

You don’t know how to ask her to hang out over text…

Has any of these ever happened to you?

Texting can sometimes seem hard.

But in this article, am going to give you the dos and don’ts when texting girls that will improve your texting game tremendously and immediately.

Now, first things first…..

The Main Point Of Texting Is To Set updates.

A guy asking a girl out


It is always easier for most guys to ruin the interaction with a woman over text than making it successful.

Intimate connections with a woman that can lead up to sex are built in person.

This only takes place after meeting in person.

So texting should be a tool to set updates.

You should never use texting as a means of engaging in serious conversations with girls.

If you do this, the girl will get bored sooner than later.

And she will stop responding to your memos.

Or worse, you will end up in the dreaded friendzone.

The whole point of texting should be to meet up with the girl in person.

Save all your conversations for the date.

How To Text Girls

1. Text her immediately after getting her number.

Like after a few hours

This will help you build momentum and also let her get and save your contact if she didn’t get it the first time you met her.

You can say something like…

“hey, this is Martin the awesome guy you met at the supermarket”

or….

anything witty and fun.

2. When texting her to hangout for your first date, you need to be up to the point and specific.

When asking a girl to go on a date with you over text, you need to avoid general statements like “hey, let’s go out on a date”.

This rarely works unless the girl is so attracted to you or if you get lucky.

You need to give the girl a specific time, date and place or activity.

Instead of saying “let’s hang out on Tuesday”, you can say something like “hey, am going to have a walk in the park on Tuesday evening, I would love for you to join me”.

Being specific and using the word “join” in this kind of text is so important because;

A guy texting a girl to hangout but not being specific
When asking a girl out for a date, you want to avoid using the word date in your text. When you ask her for a date directly, it shows the girl that you are boring and predictable.

i) It shows that you are interested in the girl, but not needy. (Remember neediness kills a girl’s attraction faster than a blink of an eye)

Why?

You are using a tone which shows that you want to go out with each other and if the girl doesn’t join you, you will go ahead and take a walk in the park anyway.

You want to frame the date with a girl like she is joining you for an activity that you were going to do anyway.

It shows her that your life is completely ok with or without her.

ii) Being specific shows that you are a guy with a plan.

This shows leadership and decisiveness. Traits that are highly attractive to women.

iii) If the girl is interested in you, it will reduce the chances of flaking.

iv) It will help the girl to give an alternative if some of your plans don’t work for her.

Text message between a girl and a guy.

She may say something like…

“I’m always busy on Tuesday evening, how about Wed or Sat?”

Or……

“I don’t like parks, but I enjoy icecream”.

Then it will be up to you to see whether you can adjust.

But if she gives a lame excuse like…

“ooh I’m busy”

or……

“I don’t like walking in parks”…

…without giving any alternative, it means it’s time to walk away cause she is simply not interested and not worth pursuing.

You can also try to be persistent by sending her something like…..

“you will let me know when you are free”…

and you don’t text her again until she gets back to you.

If she doesn’t, you just move on.

3. If you can, always let her text be the last one in the conversation.

Unless she texts you something that requires an urgent response, you should not feel like you must text her back.

4. Let your texts be short and clear.

I see a lot of guys text girls with huge text paragraphs.

This is so boring.

I know some girls may respond positively to this, but hot chicks who have lots guys trying to get with them, usually feel turned off by these long texts.

You can use long texts with your guy buddies, not with girls. Always keep your texts witty and flirty.

When a girl sends you a text of three words, it makes you look needy and desperate if you reply to her text with a paragraph of twenty words.

As a general rule, you should reciprocate the length of a woman’s texts.

Avoid or minimise long paragraphs and conversations over text.

You should save all those long conversations for the date.

5. Keep your texts light and playful.

When your texts are fun, you make her feel positive emotions which will increase the chances of her accepting your idea of hanging out.

When she asks you a question, you should not look for the best and logical answer to her question.

You just reply to her questions with a playful and fun vibe.

Being playful and fun over text is super important because;

i) It shows the girl that you don’t pedestalize.

If you are putting a girl on a pedestal, your texts will often come off as uptight and super serious.

Why?

You don’t want to risk looking silly to the girl.

So, if your texts are fun, playful and light-hearted, you will separate yourself from a ton of guys pursuing her.

Like I said, if you are interested in a hot girl (and you two are not alone on an island), then she will be having a lot of other guys who are also interested and pursuing her.

The good news is, you are reading this article, so she is going to see you as different from all the other guys.

So when you act differently by not trying to seek the girl’s validation, you increase your chances for attracting her.

ii) You can easily tease the girl (and you should start doing it if you are not) and this makes you sexually attractive because you are being flirtatious.

You also set yourself apart from other guys she meets because so many guys do not tease girls for fear of offending them.

So when you go ahead and tease her, she sees you as a confident and exciting guy.

iii) You show her that you don’t take yourself too seriously and have a sense of humour.

A sense of humour is ranked among the top three qualities that make a man sexually attractive to the opposite sex besides confidence and drive.

iv) She will see you as a confident high-value guy who is not trying hard to impress her and win her approval.

Whenever you try to impress a woman, it shows that her value is higher than yours.

So when you get a feeling of wanting to impress a woman, suck it up and let those feelings go.

Like the saying “girls just wanna have fun”. So when showing a fun vibe through your texts, she will have nothing to do but fall for you.

6. After texting, you should go on and do something else.

Bro! you don’t want to be sitting there waiting and thinking…

“Oooh! when is she going to reply?”

or….

“Why is she is taking so long to reply to my text?”.

If you can, you should even forget that you even texted her in the first place and only be reminded when you see a notification of her reply.

This way, when you reply to her text, you won’t come off with a needy vibe that can turn her off. You will have interesting things to say.

7. Mirroring her texts.

When a girl replies to your text after two hours and then you text back after one minute, it shows that you are more interested in her than she is in you.

You don’t want to over-invest in a girl whom you’ve just met.

So when she replies after an hour you need to reply after more than an hour. If she sends you a long text, it is ok to reply with long texts too.

But you will look like a try-hard and desperate if you send paragraphs of texts to a girl who is sending you very short texts.

What You Should Avoid In Your Texting Game.

1. Plotting the perfect way to ask the girl to hangout.

Asking a girl out for a date in very simple but you may think it is something complicated.

You just need to come up with a specific place, time and day. Then ask the girl to join you for a specific activity.

Is that so hard bro?

Of course not!

The main reason why so many guys complicate the issue of asking a girl out for a date is mainly due to the fear of rejection.

PRO TIP: When you ask a girl out for a specific date, as soon as possible you always win because;

i) When she accepts, then it means your wish has come true.

ii) When she refuses, you also win because you have saved time and energy which you were going to waste on a girl who is not sexually attracted to you.

So you just go on, spend your time and energy on girls who are interested in you.

2. Waiting for the right time to send her a hangout text.

The right time to ask a girl out is as soon as possible. Always aim for 2 to 3 days after getting her contact but not exceeding one week.

If you delay asking a girl out and keep on with useless, pointless texts she will just drop into the friend zone.

So by the time you gather the courage to show your sexual interest in the girl by asking her out for a date, she will just drop you a bomb like…..

“I like you and you are a nice guy. But we should just remain as friends”.

Or…..

Some other confident guy who doesn’t beat around the bush would have already asked her out, had sex with her and made her his girlfriend.

And again this is mainly due to fear of failure and rejection.

You rather know now that a girl isn’t interested in you sexually than realising it later after wasting your time, energy and emotions.

3. Texting her every day without making any move.

A girl receiving a text from a guy

Now, this is worse than waiting for the right moment to ask a girl to hangout.

Never assume that just because a girl is texting you all the time, that she is into you.

PRO TIP: The ultimate way you can know whether a girl wants you to be more than friends is by asking her out for a date.

Texting the girl all the time without making a move just makes her drop you into the friend zone even though she might have considered you as boyfriend material at the start.

So you should always ask the girl out, ask her to meet up with you or come over to your place as soon as you start texting back and forth.

Never get caught up because the girl is giving you attention.

So many guys keep texting a girl without making a move because they fear that the girl could reject them and lose all the attention they have been getting.

But, the girl will soon get bored and she will stop texting back.

4. Double texting a girl.

Double texting means texting the girl for a second time before she replies.

A girl who is ignoring you is simply not interested in you. There are situations where no matter what, you just can’t get a girl to be interested in you. It is important for you to always be willing to walk away if need be.

You should always give time for a girl to respond to your texts because she could be busy and not having time to text back.

If she takes a lot longer, like several days, then it means she is simply not interested.

But texting a girl two or more times before she texts you back shows her that you are a loser who other girls don’t want.

However, you can send her the last message like after a week to see whether she will text back and if she doesn’t, then it means…

you are lucky you didn’t waste your time and emotions on a woman who wasn’t interested in you.

And never think that a girl has not seen your message because girls spend a lot of time on their phones. She probably just ignored your message.

And bro, when this happens to you don’t feel bad because I guarantee you, there are prettier women out there who will be always very happy to reply to your texts.

5. Over texting the girl after your first date.

You should limit your texts to a girl after your first date. Keep them short, fun and playful.

When you over text a girl in the initial stages of dating, you risk revealing too much too soon about yourself which will kill a woman’s attraction.

Am always emphasising meeting a girl in person over texting because it is easy to screw up when texting a girl more so if you are just building her attraction in you.

Also, there are times when I screwed up with a girl over text but was able to attract her when I had a chance to meet up with her in person.

Because when you meet a girl one on one, there are so many things like…..

your body language (slow body movements, slow talk, open body, straight posture), being polarising, being a good listener which are attractive to girls but can hardly be expressed over text.

Let me illustrate more about the importance of meeting up with a girl in person…

Assuming the scale of attraction ranges from 0 to 10.

Now assuming a girl’s interest in you is at a scale of 3 or 5…

When you ask her out, you can increase her attraction to a scale of 7 or 8…

now she can become your girlfriend.

But you won’t reach a scale of 8 or 9 or 10 by simply texting a girl.

Because……

Like I said, most important qualities that make a girl fall in love with you can’t be expressed over text.

If she texts you first, after your first date, keep your replies short.

Do not be tempted to text her too much.

She may like it, at first, if you are texting back and forth all the time but, she will later punish you for it.

I know you might be thinking that the girl will forget about you if you don’t reach out to her. But this is not true. It will be the reverse.

She will keep thinking about you and wondering about you if you are not reaching out to her all the time.

This is what will make her fall in love with you.

Final thoughts

You should always keep the goal of texting in your mind, texting is to set updates and most importantly you should be willing to let go if a girl is not responding positively to your texts.

If you want to have success in texting, always focus on having fun. Focus less on what you will get out of the interaction with the girl.

This way, you won’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. You won’t have to worry because a girl hasn’t texted back or taken long to reply.

You will always have what to text a girl without overthinking it.

I hope these tips will help you. Use them and you will immediately see your texting game improve dramatically.

In summary

How To Text Girls

7 DOs

If you want to make her fall in love with you over text;

1. Text her immediately after getting her number.

2. When asking her to hang out for the first date, you need to be specific and don’t beat around the bush.

3. If you can, always let her texts be the last one in your conversations.

4. Let your texts be short, clear, fun and witty.

5. Keep your texts light and playful.

6. After sending her a text, you should go on and do something else.

7. Mirror her texts

5 Don’ts

1. Plotting for a perfect way to ask her for a date.

2. Waiting for the right time to send her a hangout text.

3. Texting her every day without making any move.

4. Double texting.

5. Over texting the woman after your first date.

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