5 Ways To Start A Relationship: Don’t Be Relationship-Focused

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As a man, you must be focused on your mission and purpose in life.

You must be focused on achieving your goals and dreams. It is ok for a girl to focus on the relationship.

Relationship focused men look less attractive to most women.

It’s never ok for you as a man to ask a girl questions like “Please, can you be my girlfriend?” or “I want to introduce you to my friends”.

When a man is focused on getting a girl to commit, it makes a man look less attractive to the girl. This is a feminine act.

For any woman to become attracted to a man, there must be a masculine-feminine dynamic.

When this dynamic is killed, the sexual relationship between the man and the woman can no longer stand.

Why Are Relationship Focused Men Less Attractive To Girls?

#1. The feminine-masculine dynamic is killed.

The North pole attracts the South pole and the positive end will attract the negative end. In the same way, femininity is attracted to masculinity.

When you put the relationship at the forefront, you will be acting like a woman.

You will be acting in a feminine way. Since the girl is feminine herself, there will be no sexual chemistry.

There will be no attraction to be developed.

When you become focused on a relationship, you kill attraction because your behaviours are feminine.

#2. They put a girl on a pedestal.

If a man becomes too focused on the relationship, he will put the girl on a pedestal by default.

When you try to make a girl become your girlfriend when she is not ready for a relationship, you will always be working hard to impress her.

You will always be seeking validation and approval. You will most times act needy.

This will cause the girl to look down on you.

A girl will never love you or become attracted to you and look down on you at the same time.

She’s going to look down on you because you are creating a scenario where the girl has a higher value than you.

You are trying to impress her so that she can enter a committed relationship with you.

#3. It makes a man look needy.

A man begging a woman to be with him

“I need you”. “Please be with me”. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you” “I will do anything for you” “I love you so much”.

Do those words sound familiar?

Have you ever said them to a girl you liked but who didn’t like you that much?

How did she respond? Positively, negatively or remained neutral?

The only person to answer those questions is you.

I used to say those words and many others to girls I loved so much that didn’t have so much interest in me.

Those words sounded so sweet whenever I heard them in romantic songs. Many girls loved those songs too.

But, whenever I said those same words to girls I wanted to be in a relationship with, they just acted the opposite.

They would immediately start acting distant.

Most men, like I used to, mistakenly believe that expressing their feelings of love to a girl who is less attracted to them will make the girl fall in love with them.

Confessions of love to a girl who is not at the same level of interest just make you look desperate and weak at best.

Your confessions will never work because a girl’s interest in you has nothing to do with your interest in her.

Showing a girl that you are so interested in her will never make her interested in you. 

It’s your masculine traits like confidence, leadership, a sense of humour that will make a girl want to become your girlfriend.

When you keep supplicative by begging, pleading and sacrificing your happiness to be with a girl, you look unattractive.

#4. Girls see it as a red flag.

“Why is he so desperate?”, the girl thinks. “Why is he trying hard to lock me down? does it mean other girls do not find him attractive?”.

When you try hard to lock down a girl into a relationship, it shows her that you have no options.

It communicates to the girl, subconsciously, that no other beautiful girl would want to be with you.

When a beautiful girl realizes that other hot girls find you attractive, she will subconsciously assume that you are so attractive.

When you show a woman that you lack options, it will turn her off big time. Girls are so attracted to preselection.

This is a survival primal instinct in humans. It’s a short created by our brains.

We are naturally drawn to anything that other people find desirable and do not like things that are undesirable to many.

This communicates to our subconscious that we should also avoid what the others are running from.

#5. It shows insecurity.

Many guys try to lockdown a girl quickly into a committed relationship out of insecurity.

When a girl is beautiful, she will have a lot of guys interested in her.

Most men would try hard to get her to commit because they fear that other guys will take her away.

And this is done out of insecurity and jealousy. And the girl will instinctively smell your insecurity.

When you show a girl that you are insecure, it communicates to her that you lack confidence in yourself.

Your insecurity will be communicating to her “hey, I feel inferior to all the other guys interested in you”.

This shows that you lack confidence in yourself and it will also cause the girl to lose confidence in you.

#6. It kills the challenge.

Like I said, if a woman is beautiful she will have a ton of attention from men.

A woman who is wanted by other men

She will have a ton of options. She can easily get a man who will commit to her. So when you show the girl that you are easy to get, she gets bored.

You become less attractive because you are like all the other losers who compliment her every time she posts her pictures on social media.

You were easily impressed by her.

What she wants is a rare, challenging guy.

That is what will separate you from all the thirsty beta men who stalk her on social media.

Any girl wants to feel like she had to do some work to win your affections. She will feel a sense of accomplishment.

Then she’s going to value the relationship.

And that’s what you want, right? 

A woman who values you. It becomes hard for a girl to dump you.

Who wants to waste their investment?

The Best To Start A Committed Relationship With A Woman

#1. Let the woman bring up the idea of becoming exclusive.

Never talk about becoming exclusive until the woman brings it up. If you bring it up before the girl feels ready, you risk her pulling away.

I’m a big fan of relationships. If a girl is hot and fun to be around, why not have her stay for a prolonged time with me?

Though you may want a girl to become your official girlfriend or wife, you want her to bring up the idea of being exclusive first.

Your job will be leading your interactions with the girl.

Assuming, for example, you meet a girl you like, you get her contact, ask her to hang out, she accepts, you hang out a couple of times, ask her back to your place, or her place and have sex.

So what next?

Should ask her to be your girlfriend if she doesn’t seem like she wants to commit?

Of course, not.

Then what should you do?

You continue pursuing sex until she brings up the idea of the relationship.

You will know that she wants you to commit when she starts to say things like “where is this thing heading?” after the two of you have just had sex or “I want to introduce you to my friends” or when she starts posting pics of you and her on her social media.

On the other hand, before the girl has shown interest in being exclusive, do not;

  • Talk about your future together. 
  • Start telling your friends how she is your girlfriend.
  • Tell her how you would want to introduce her to your parents.

Trust me, if she likes the idea of the relationship she’ll bring it up after you hook up.

#2. Focus on having fun.

Focus on having fun and continue displaying your masculine traits.

Instead of always thinking about the future of you and the girl.

Whenever you are out on a date focus on enjoying the time you are having with the girl.

Focus on the now. When you have fun, the girl will always enjoy your company.

And when the time is right, everything will take care of itself. Remember girls often fall in love slowly than men do.

So when you try to rush her into a committed relationship, she will feel overwhelmed and pull back.

You have to give the woman time for her attraction to grow.

And you should never assume that just because a girl has had sex with you, she is in love with you.

#3. Keep seeing a few girls.

A woman on her phone

Until you are in a committed relationship with a girl, you have to keep seeing other girls.

You should not put all your attention on one girl when you’ve just started dating. This will help you to not come off as needy.

As I said, you also need to show the girl that you have options if you want to attract her.

#4. Get rid of the “soulmate” mentality.

When you think that the girl you are dating is so special and different from all the other girls, you can easily develop oneitis and become so attached to that one girl.

How do you get rid of the lame soul mate mentality?

Develop an abundance mentality.

Any guy needs to have the right mindset and mentality. A mindset that there are millions of hot, fun, cool, and awesome girls everywhere.

You can join this dating site for free to meet women of your prefered age, character, and location. 

You should never put all your energy, thoughts and emotions into any single girl whom you have just met.

You invest so much in a girl who has not done much for you because you have made yourself think that she so special and a one in a million kind of girl.

#5. Have a life.

Some men do not have a lot of things going on in their lives.

So when they date an attractive and exciting girl, they think that by making her their girlfriend there life will be fun and worth living.

When you think that being in a relationship with a beautiful girl will make you happy, you will always try very hard to get girls to commit.

But this will always work against you. It will not work simply because any woman just wants to be a part of a man’s awesome life.

So before you seek a relationship, you may have to make sure that your single life is fun and exciting.

You need to make sure that you won’t be seeking fulfilment from relationships.

If you do not want to be relationship-focused, you may need to make sure that your life is fun with or without any beautiful woman.

An ideal situation is where attracting an exciting girlfriend into your life would be a bonus from creating a life you are proud of.

If you haven’t yet reached that level, then you need to act like you are living a life that you always wanted.

However, you should still be striving to get there.


Relationships can be fun. But, if a man tries to rush a woman into a relationship, the woman will pull away most times.

If you are dating a hot, ambitious girl who can support your dreams, then there is no good reason not to have her as your official partner.

But you need to get her committed to you by leading the interaction. Make it seem like she was the first one to become interested in the relationship.

Even if you like her to be your girlfriend, do not show it until she is ready or until she has brought up the idea of a committed relationship.

When you do the opposite, she will be turned off and may pull away. If you keep acting the right way, she will finally try to get you to commit.

But if you act like a simp by a craving for her attention and seeking her approval, she will pull away.

In summary

Why are relationship-focused men less attractive?

1. The feminine-masculine dynamic is killed.

2. They put the girl on a pedestal

3. It makes a man look needy

4. Girls see it as a red flag.

5. It shows insecurity

6. It kills the challenge

How do you get rid of the commitment focus and start a relationship with a woman?

1. Let the woman bring the idea of becoming exclusive.

2. Focus on having fun.

3. Keep seeing a few girls

4. Get rid of the “soulmate” mentality

5. Have a life.

I hope this article has helped you learn how to effectively get a girl into a relationship without trying hard and pushing her away.


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