7 Qualities That Will Make You Successful But Ruin Your Dating

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Success in dating and having satisfying relationships with women requires a different set of skills and knowledge that the majority of us must learn.


If you want to become rich, get your dream job or achieve any goal in life, you need persistence, logic, focus and, other qualities.

Despite making you successful, these same qualities will ruin your dating life.

So, being successful and rich doesn’t guarantee success in attracting girls.

Unfortunately, many guys think that for you to attract your dream woman, you must only work hard, get rich or become successful.

“If I become rich or get a high paying job”, most guys think…..

“I will get money to spend on girls, so that, they can like me.”

After all, that is what you see when you turn on t.v or when you ask your sisters for dating advice.

Every guy must learn about dating and relationships whether rich or poor, famous or not famous, successful or not.

Attracting girls and having satisfying relationships with women requires a separate set of skills.

Qualities That Attract Success But Repel Women

#1. Focus.

A successful business man

When you are starting a business from scratch, you need to be focused.

If you do not lose your focus, your business will be successful.

This is also true for many other aspects of life like a specific sport, a specific job and other specific goals.

However, when it comes to dating, the reverse is often true.

Many guys when they meet a girl that they like, they mistakenly put all there focus and attention on her.

They think “this girl is so special and I have never seen any girl like her” and try to do whatever it takes to win her over.

The problem with focusing most of your attention on one girl is the mindset it springs from, a scarcity mindset.

If you want to attract girls, you need to master an abundance mentality.

When you put all your focus on her, she subconsciously thinks that you have no other options even when it is not the case.

As I always say, girls find preselection, so attractive

A girl wants to be with a guy who other women find desirable.

Again when you focus on one girl, you become easy to get.

You are not a challenge. Girls find challenging guys valuable and attractive.

Most times, a girl will want to feel like she put in some work to win your affections.

That is why even when you are attracted to each other, sometimes you need to let her call you first, text you first or pay for a date.

This way, she will value you more. You have to let her invest in you. People value their investments.

So, you can focus on your career, passions and other goals in life, but never focus on a single woman.

Realise there are many pretty women out there.

Even when you are in a relationship, but most of your attention on your goals and purpose in life.

Trust me, she will love you more and respect you more for it.

#2. Hunger

A guy pleading to a woman

Hunger for success in a particular sport, career or business will increase your chances of succeeding.

However, hunger for a particular woman doesn’t make her like you more.

It just pushes her away. Your hunger will turn you into a stalker and this isn’t attractive at all.

Success in attracting girls is through showing genuine desire in them but not through showing hunger.

#3. Persistence.

Persistence increases the chances of meeting your goals and becoming successful in many aspects of life. However, it may hurt your chances of attracting girls in many ways.

Persistence often turns into neediness when it comes to attracting women. And neediness is the quickest way to kill a girl’s attraction to you.

Persisting on a girl who has no interest in you is bad because it shows the girl that you don’t have options.

It makes her think that other girls don’t find you attractive even when it isn’t true.

Girls are highly attracted to preselection. Its simply human psychology. We are always attracted to things that other people find desirable.

That is why testimonies work very well in marketing.

When it comes to attracting girls, persistence may work for you a few times, but it will push the girl away most times.

Here are ways in which your persistence can turn into neediness without even realising it;

》 continuing to ask a woman out who is flaky
》 texting a girl several times even when she isn’t replying to your texts.

》 calling a girl several times if she isn’t picking your call.

》 asking a girl out more than two times. She may finally go out with you because of so many other reasons besides being attracted to you.

Persistence towards your goals is a very good thing in life not when it comes to attracting women.

Being persistent just pushes the girls away most of the times.

When it comes to dating, you want to pursue a woman who is showing signs of interest in you.

Being interested in a woman is not enough, she must also be interested in you.

And you will not need the persistence to get a woman who is interested in you to love you and become part of your life.

A guy who persisted until he won the girl’s heart is found only in movies, not in real life.

Even when you succeed, you may not have a satisfying relationship with a woman who became your girlfriend or wife through a lot of persistence.


》 she had no interest in you. So, you were not her best option…

This means she can easily leave the relationship and for guys, she considers as a challenge.

No wonder its women who file for most divorces.

》 she will always be testing your masculinity and authority.

》 the woman will not be happy in the relationship. So, you will always be trying so hard to keep her happy in the relationship.

》 you will have less power in the relationship.

So instead of persisting with trying to get a girl who is not interested in you, look for girls who you find attractive but, who are also interested in you.

#4. Outcome dependence.

When trying to pursue your goals, you always have a specific outcome that you are always targeting.

But outcome dependence will often ruin your dating.

Whenever you have an outcome in mind, you will often come off as someone trying hard.

If you just let your interactions with women be fun, the outcome will take care of itself.

Instead of focusing on what you will get from girls and dating, just focus on having fun in the process.

When you do this, you will come off as a fun and exciting guy who is fun to be around.

There is a saying that goes “girls just wanna have fun”, well it happens to be true.

So when interacting with girls or when you are out on a date, focus on having fun and do not focus on outcomes like…..

making her your girlfriend or having sex with her or setting up another date.

The fear of rejection is one of the main reasons as to why many guys do not succeed in dating.

This is partly caused by being too focused on the outcome of your interactions with girls.

The main problem with being outcome dependent like trying to make a girl your girlfriend is one.

It causes you to try hard to win her approval. Approval seeking behaviours are not sexy.

What you should do instead is to enjoy your interactions with her so that she becomes so attracted to you until she brings up the idea of being exclusive.

Success with women comes from not putting a lot of pressure on self.

#5. Taking things too seriously.

Building a business or career requires you take those two very serious.

However, when it comes to attracting girls, you do not want to take your interactions with girls too seriously.

When you take individual girls too seriously, you will become boring, you will always feel nervous around them because you are caring too much about what they think of you.

When you don’t take yourself too seriously around women, you will become more attractive because you will be able to tease them, make light and playful comments.

Humour is so attractive to women. And men who take themselves too seriously are not humorous.

When you take girls too seriously, it will give them power over you which will make you look needy and unattractive.

If you are fun and playful, you will pass a lot of her shitty tests which girls give to get an emotional reaction out of you and test your confidence.

#6. Being logical.

Oh my God, this is something so many guys are guilty of doing.

Being logical with women will make you a big loser when it comes to dating.

Success in academics, business, sports and, other careers requires you to use a lot of logic and reasoning to solve problems.

A guy finds a girl who is not attracted to him but the guy starts convincing the girl how he can make a perfect boyfriend.

He tells the girl how he will be nice to her, how he earns a lot of money, how can afford to buy her cool things, and take care of her.

This makes a lot of sense from a logical perspective. But love is an emotion which completely has nothing to do with reasoning.

It will never work if you try to convince back a girl who has dumped you or lost attraction in you using reasoning.

A girl’s attraction for a guy is emotional, not logical.

It is the same case for us guys. Our attraction for women is emotional.

When you see a girl who looks hot, you feel attracted to her immediately without even thinking about it.

When you succeed with making her your girlfriend or having sex with her, you rationalise your emotional choice using logic.

The only difference is that girls are mainly attracted to a guy’s behaviour and less attracted by his looks.

Basically, you will never convince a woman to become sexually attracted to you using logic and reasoning.

Girls become attracted to guys who make them feel in a certain way.

When you want a woman to have romantic feelings for you, you need to target her emotions, not her logic.

A girl will become attracted to you solely on emotions, and then rationalise her choice (for choosing you as her boyfriend or for having sex with you) using logic.

So, it is emotions first then reasoning comes second. Not the other way round.

One way of making a girl have romantic feelings for you is by engaging in conversations that appeal to her emotions.

Unfortunately, many guys engage in logical conversations with girls.

Always remember the main role of engaging in conversations with girls is to create an emotional connection.

An emotional connection is what makes the girl romantically see in you and want to have sex with you. It is what helps you to avoid the friendzone.

When you make your conversations with girls too logical, it will not appeal to her emotions so, you will not appeal to her sexually.

If you want to appeal to a girl’s emotions through conversations, the conversations should be fun, playful, and light.

#7. Trying to impress

A man trying to impress a woman

In business or your career, you may need to do something to impress your new customers to beat your competitors.

Or you will always be given a job if you impress your interviewers.

However, when you try to impress a woman you have just met, she will lose respect for you.

Many guys are guilty of trying to impress women they have just met by buying girls nice flowers, buying them expensive gifts and take them for expensive dinner dates.

Am not saying that you should not buy girls expensive gifts, but you should do it on condition that she has earned it.

When you do nice things for a girl who has not earned it to impress her, it just communicates to her that her value is higher than yours.

And girls do not feel attraction for low-value guys.

Sometimes (if he is lucky) a girl may have sex with such a guy, but she will eventually dump him for an exciting high-value guy who doesn’t put her on a pedestal.

The guy will be left frustrated and heartbroken for all the money spent.

Spending money on a girl doesn’t mean that she owes you, love.


Making money or becoming successful in life is a very important thing and awesome.

However, it doesn’t guarantee a successful and satisfying dating life.

The skills that make you successful in business your career will not make you successful at attracting women.

In summary

7 Qualities that attract success but repel women

1. Focus

2. Hunger

3. Persistence

4. Outcome dependence

5. Taking things too serious

6. Being logical

7. Trying to impress

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