If you want to have a satisfying and happy relationship with your girlfriend, then you need to engage in conversations with your girlfriend that are deep and fun.
Deep and fun conversations can be a huge bonding experience between you and your girlfriend.
If your conversations are fun, she will not get tired of you. She will want to spend a lot of time with you.
From personal experience, I’ve realized that girls love long conversations. More so if they are fun.
Having long and fun conversations with your girlfriend has to do with knowing what topics to talk about with your girlfriend and how to talk about such topics.
And that’s what I’m going to be talking about.
There are some topics that you have to keep for your guy friends. The kind you have to limit in conversations with your gal.
How can you have long and fun conversations with your girlfriend?
Having long and fun conversations with your girlfriend has to do with doing the right thing and avoiding some mistakes.
Let’s get straight to the show, shall we?
#1. Limit roadblock phrases.
“What the hell do those phrases mean?”, you might want to ask me.
I’ll explain using examples.
Roadblock phrases are phrases like ok, that’s awesome, good, yeah, cool or fine.
What’s wrong with such statements?
They kill the flow of any long conversation besides being boring.
Why? Because they do not warrant any response from the girl.
” Ok, What should I do instead, professor?”
Use a lot of open-ended phrases.
Open-ended phrases like “tell me more” or “I would love to hear more about it”, ” what happened next?” or “how did that make you feel?”.
Those statements will just do you one thing…
Allow your girlfriend to talk for long in a conversation because it shows her that you are genuinely interested in what she has to say.
It shows her that you are listening and paying attention to the conversation.
So that is going to encourage your gal to continue with a long conversation.
#2. Limit transactional phrases in your conversations.
What are they?
Interview statements! They warrant the girl to respond with factual answers that are two or three words long.
Let me explain more using examples.
- “How was your day?”
- “How was the interview?”
- “How was the trip?”
Those statements are terrible for one reason…
keep the conversation on small talk.
They do not require your girlfriend to respond with a detailed response.
So this nicely brings me to our next point.
#3. Ask your girlfriend open-ended questions.
This is the answer to the last two problems.
Open-ended questions require your girlfriend to respond with a detailed and descriptive answer.
For example, instead of asking her “how was the interview?”, you can instead say something like “how was it like preparing for the interview?” or “how did it feel like doing the interview?”.
#4. Talk about emotionally relevant topics.
Do you know one big difference between the preferences of you and women?
I’ll help you out…
Girls tend to gravitate more towards things that are more emotional whilst we tend to gravitate more towards more logical things.
Girls love and enjoy talking for hours about emotionally relevant topics.
So if you want to have fun and long conversations with your girlfriend, you’ve got the answer.
Let the conversations be more about emotionally relevant topics.
Your girlfriend will talk more and have fun if your conversations are about topics that appeal to a variety of positive emotions.
These are the kind of topics girls are most conversant in.
Since you want your girlfriend to do the majority of the talking, your conversations should be about topics that she finds fascinating. Topics she’s familiar with.
On the other hand, you need to limit the use of logical topics if you want your conversations with your girlfriend to be long and fun.
However, there are times when you need to talk about serious topics for the better of your relationship.
But your relationship should not always be about serious topics.
Besides your girlfriend is always talking about things that are too serious at her job.
It makes her life boring and predictable if she, again, keeps talking about a lot of serious topics with her boyfriend.
To have long and fun conversations with your girlfriend, you need to stick more to emotionally relevant topics.
Emotionally relevant topics that should talk about with your girlfriend
i) Childhood memories.
Your girlfriend can talk for days and days about this.
You can even keep bringing back the topic again and again because the truth is it is hard to talk about all your childhood memories.
You can keep coming up with more and more memories as you keep remembering them.
You can also come in and relate to her memories by sharing your childhood stories too (I will talk more about relating to her story later in this article).
You can talk about the most exciting, anxious or embarrassing childhood memories.
But your childhood memories should be emotional.
The memories need to be fun and not boring. Talk about that teacher with a huge butt you crushed on and all the silly things you did as children.
ii) Her passions.
You can talk about things that she loves to do for fun.
You can talk about things that drive you or her as a person.
This could also be an opportunity to go and do these fun things together.
Girs love gossip.
Why is it that most gossip programmes on tv are hosted by women?
You got it!
Talk about celebrity gossip or even gossip about people in her social circle like her boss who is cheating with a subordinate.
So long as you will be able to listen and pay attention to her, the conversation will be fun and super long.
You can talk about favourite movies and music.
You can talk about her or your favourite actors or actresses and music artists.
You may also talk about her most favourite tv shows and personalities and her favourite socialite.
iv) Food and cooking
Girls love food. They enjoy cooking. This is one of the favourite passions for many girls.
Your girlfriend will probably enjoy talking about food and cooking recipes.
v) Vacations and Travel.
Men and women love travelling.
If you stop any girl and ask for her favourite activities, chances are she’ll say travelling.
You can have super fun and long conversations with your girlfriend about the fun Vacations and trips she has ever gone to.
She would also love to hear about the vacations, trips and travels you have ever gone to.
Girls love fashion. You can have fun and long conversations about her fashion ideas and interests.
You can ask her about the recent trends in fashion.
If you do not know much about fashion, you can have a conversation for hours when a girl is educating you about fashion.
It can be anything specific about fashion like shoes, shirts, outfits, trousers, trending fashions.
vii) Any other activity that girls love
You can know an activity that your girlfriend will love by looking out for industries that have plenty or dominated by women like weddings and pets.
Logical and heavy topics that your girlfriend won’t like that much
As I said, you may talk about these topics from time to time because they will be sometimes worth talking about to improve your relationship.
But to have long and fun conversations with your girlfriend, you may need to limit the use of logical and heavy topics in such conversations.
- Sports. You may talk about sports if it’s her passion.
Any other technical topic like software
#5. Relate to her stories.
You may have to make sure that you come into the conversation and share experiences.
When your girlfriend tells you about her childhood memory, you may also need to come in and share your childhood experience.
Sometimes, you may need to look for the underlying emotions in your girlfriend’s stories and relate to those emotions.
How do you relate to your girlfriend’s emotions?
Share experiences where you felt the same emotions.
For example, if your girlfriend tells you a story where she felt anxious, you can also relate by talking about a different or similar experience where you felt anxious.
This is important for two reasons.
One reason is that it helps you to strengthen the emotional bond between the two of you.
Secondly, it makes the girl feel validated for her emotions.
This will make the girl trust you more and open up more which keeps the conversation going for a longer time.
#6. Be an active listener.
Most of us are guilty of not being good listeners.
We as men are the worst when it comes to listening. Listening is an active activity.
Listening takes some effort.
Listening doesn’t mean that all you have to do is sit down and face the person talking.
When a girl realizes that you do not actively listen and pay attention to her conversations, she will feel discouraged.
She will not like engaging in long conversations with you because you never listen to her.
All you want to do is talk about yourself and things that interest you.
As I said, it’s better to let your girlfriend do most of the talking during your conversations if you want them to be super long and fun.
#7. Never try to judge her experiences.
“Why did you do that?”
“What were you thinking?”
“You shouldn’t have done that?”
Shut the hell up!
The reason why it seems like your girlfriend doesn’t want to talk to you is you are always judging her every time she shares something with you.
No matter whether a girl is an extrovert or introvert, the odds are high that she will never fail to have what to about with you.
If she feels like you are being judgemental, she will not want to engage in extended conversations with you.
#8. She doesn’t want you to solve her problems.
I know that you are smart as hell and you’re a good problem solver. But not this time.
All your girlfriend needs from you – most of the time – is to pay attention and listen to her.
Your genuine attempts of trying to help will come off as you being selfish.
She feels like you were being selfish because you didn’t take time to listen to her.
For example, your girlfriend starts talking to you about a coworker she argued with.
The worst thing you can do is to interrupt the conversation to come up with a solution to her problem.
Like how she could have handled the situation and how she should always handle such situations.
If your girlfriend doesn’t ask for a solution, it is often best to ignore your logical instincts.
#9. Do not take yourself too seriously.
If you want the conversations with your girlfriend to be fun and long, you should not take yourself too seriously.
Probably the reason why it seems like you two have nothing to talk about is that you take yourself too seriously.
When your girlfriend is at her job, everything is so serious.
So when she comes back home and her boyfriend takes her too seriously like her boss, she feels bored.
When you talk to her in a very serious way all the time, her life feels like it’s predictable.
There is an old saying that goes “Girls just want to have fun”. Well, it happens to be true.
Your girlfriend would want to engage in fun and long conversations with you only if you are fun and not taking yourself too seriously.
#10. Give your girlfriend some space.
When you are not always around your girlfriend, she will have time to miss you.
So that when she finally meets you, she will be super excited and your conversations will effortlessly be long and fun.
When you are always around your girlfriend, your conversations will easily burn out.
Your conversations will finally become short, predictable with no fun or excitement.
You need to have things that pull you away from your girlfriend. Things like your goals, career or passions.
So that when you finally meet up with your girlfriend, your conversations will naturally be long and fun.
#11. Inject some humour in your conversations.
If you inject some sense of humour into your conversations, they will be fun.
Your girlfriend will enjoy your conversations. She will keep them going and long because she enjoys them.
If your girlfriend feels like your conversations with her are boring, she may not want to engage in them that much.
So it is important to develop some sense of humour.
I believe that the best way of developing a sense of humour is by being polarising.
What does being polarising mean?
You say what is on your mind without too much filtration of your words.
This was the number one thing that helped me a lot to develop my sense of humour.
Being polarising is so important because it prevents you from always being in your head. It will skyrocket your social vibe.
I also developed my sense of humour by watching a lot of comedy videos. Most especially, those of stand up comedians.
I use some of their witty lines directly. But most of the time, I adjust them to come up with my own.
The above points will help your conversations with your girlfriend to belong and fun.
Though it might take you some time to master some of them, they will work for you. It will be worth all the effort if you finally master them.
However, you can start applying them as early as now and you will immediately see some results.
If you want to have long and fun conversations with your girlfriend;
• Limit roadblock phrases.
• Limit transactional phrases.
• Ask your girlfriend open-ended questions.
• Talk about emotionally relevant topics.
• Relate to her stories.
• Be an active listener.
• Never try to judge her experiences
• She doesn’t want you to solve her problem.
• Do not take yourself too seriously.
• Give your girlfriend some space.
• Inject some humour in your conversations.
I hope this article has helped you (and hey if you think it’s cool, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it on social media