So you’re a shy guy and there is a pretty girl in your class or university campus that you feel attracted to.
You want to introduce yourself to her, but you fear coming off as creepy.
The number one thing that prevents guys from approaching and dating the kind of girls they like is fear.
Just like any other fear in life, the only way to overcome your fear of approaching girls you like is by doing it anyway.
In this article, I’m going to be showing you how to approach girls in college without creeping them out.
Let me give you a word of encouragement…
it is much easier to approach girls in college because they will be more open to your approach the fact that you’re both students attending the same class or university.
The familiarity will work to your advantage.
No wonder a good number of relationships start in college. I met my first girlfriend in college. We dated for two years.
How To Approach Girls In College With Confidence
Let’s get straight to it.
#1. Approach girls directly and start a short conversation.
When approaching the girl, you need to make sure that she notices the fact that you’re going to start a short conversation.
What I mean is, you need to limit yourself from approaching girls from the side or her back.
It looks awkward and it is more likely to creep her out.
A lot of guys half-commit to approaching girls by doing those weird side-approaches because they feel nervous.
It shows a lack of self-confidence.
When approaching a girl on campus, walk slowly to her and make eye contact before you start talking.
It will help to build comfort and also grab her attention.
#2. Don’t hesitate.
Women in general feel more attracted to guys who show high levels of confidence.
When you approach a girl you like in your university campus, it shows her that you are a self-confident guy who goes after what he wants.
However, you don’t want to approach her with any sort of hesitation.
If a girl sees that you are hesitant to approach her, she will feel turned off.
The best way of destroying your hesitation when approaching college girls you like is by following a three-second rule.
The next time you approach a girl, count up to three then approach her.
This is important because you won’t have the time to overthink the situation that would cause you to become nervous and hesitant.
#3. Be congruent.
Being congruent means that what you say to the girl must reflect the kind of person you are.
It isn’t actually a good idea to tell girls memorised lines.
Saying to a girl memorised lines from other guys will often come off as non-authentic and fake.
And girls can see through that which will creep them out because your words and actions don’t match.
For example, when you tell a girl a memorised confident line, but making very weak eye contact, talking with a low voice tonality, and fidgeting…
…it will look weird!
The girl won’t feel comfortable around you and it will put her in a defence mode.
So she will be more likely to just walk away from you.
#4. Body language is key.
Your body language is very important when you’re approaching girls.
You need to approach girls with a confident, attractive body language.
So while approaching girls in college;
• Talk to the girl with an open body. Avoid closing off your body by folding your arms in front of your chest, for example.
• Talk slow.
• Keep strong eye-contact especially while talking to the girl.
• Avoid leaning in Immediately you start chatting with her. It will make her feel comfortable and also let her know that you aren’t too interested.
• Smile while making eye contact. It makes you look sexier.
• Keep your head high. Avoid staring on the ground all the time.
#5. Show intent.
Showing intent means letting the girl know why you’ve approached her- that you find her sexually attractive.
So you should move toward her and say…
“Hey, you’re very beautiful and I want to have sex with you”
No, no, no – not that way! It will obviously creep the hell out of her. It’s totally fine to feel that way, but please never tell it to a girl.
Let me show you the right way and explain…
You can let the girl know your intent directly or indirectly.
If you want to let her know directly, you will have to use verbal yet, subtle means by complimenting her, for example.
You can say something like…
You: “Hey, you look sexy in that short skirt. I had to come over and say hi!”
Her: “oh, thanks”
You: “Am Asuman, by the way.” At this point reach out to her with your hand to hold hers.
[If you can, keep holding her hand for three or more seconds whilst making strong eye contact with a smirk. You may not need to shake her hand in a manly way- just take it.]
Her: “Am Christine.”
Then you may start a short conversation with her.
You: “Do you always come to this place?”
“What are you up to?”
“I’m offering an engineering course and in year two, what about you?”
You can show your intent indirectly by flirting with the girl using your body language by, for example, making strong eye contact with a smirk, playful touching, among others.
Personally, I prefer the indirect way of communicating intent because it allows more curiosity.
Sometimes, you may want to not let the girl know right off the bat that you feel attracted to her.
If you can’t pull off the indirect form of communication, you may want to go with the direct way.
The indirect way also needs when you are going to interact with the girl for longer.
The point is, you should avoid beating around the bush because it can get you friend-zoned.
If you don’t communicate your sexual interest. She might think that you are just being friendly…
It is easy for girls to assume that since you attend the same university or class.
So always let the girl you are approaching in college know that you find her sexually attractive (directly or indirectly) as soon as possible.
The longer you delay, the harder it will become to let her know later on.
Never pretend like you’re just interested in helping her with course work or that you just need her assistance yet, you are interested in her romantically…
because it won’t get you far!
I see a lot of college-going students doing that dating mistake.
Especially the shy, brilliant students.
They hover around the girl for months and years helping her with work and acting as her emotional tampon.
Hoping that one day, he will get lucky and his crush will finally develop romantic feelings for him.
But that never happens. If you have been having any plans for using such a strategy, I highly recommend you to drop it.
It never works in real life except in movies and adverts.
Very few guys and I mean very few, become successful with such a strategy where the guy finally ends up dating the girl he’s been chasing for long.
And that’s called getting lucky!
So you should never count on it! Always let the girl know that you find her sexually attractive as soon as you approach her.
What prevents most guys from letting girls know about how they feel is due to the fear of rejection.
But, I want to give more words of encouragement.
And here they are…
Whenever you let the girl you’ve approached know that you find her attractive, you will always win.
So, you might want to ask me…
“Why?” Because if she rejects you, first, it will have saved you time and energy you would have spent chasing after a girl who has no romantic feelings for you.
Secondly, you will be closer to success after each rejection- approaching girls is actually a numbers game.
Therefore, as soon as you meet her, let her know that you find her sexually attractive.
#6. Get her contact.
After you’ve talked for a while, you will have to get her contact.
This can be her phone number or simply her Instagram. This is another good way of showing intent.
While asking for her phone number, you can say something like…
“Hey, you seem like a fun girl. Let me have your contact. You never know we might hang out sometime.”
Then get out your phone and hand it over to her to enter her number.
By saying, “so that we can hang out sometime”, you will be showing her that you consider her as more than just a friend.
And if the girl isn’t down to it, she will let you know by saying something like “I have a boyfriend.”
Again, as I said earlier, this is a good thing now that you know she isn’t available.
Ever heard of an old saying, “Regret pains much more than missed opportunity”. Bro, it happens to be true.
After getting her contact, you can then invite her out on a first date.
#7. Don’t act like you are in for a job interview.
When you approach a girl, don’t overthink things. Speak whatever comes to your mind.
Whenever you are around girls you find attractive, do what comes naturally to you.
And do the self-analysis when you are alone in your bed away from the girl.
The main problem with over-analysing yourself is that it kills your ability to socialize.
You will always act hesitant and nervous around girls which will definitely make you look less attractive.
One of the main reasons guys second-guess themselves around girls is that they feel like they need to impress the girl and earn her validation.
They feel like they need to say the right things not to look stupid in front of the girl.
However, that just results in the exact thing the guy is trying to avoid- the girl feels turned off.
If you are willing to say anything to the girl without second-guessing every word you say, it will make you look attractive to her.
But here’s is why…
This isn’t rocket science, but it can make a huge difference between you masturbating on a Saturday night and getting laid by a hottie you met at a college party.
When you are willing to say what you feel like in front of an attractive girl, you will be acting in a way that is confident and bold.
It’s that straight forward!
You will be kind of guy she rarely meets.
Hot campus girls are used to guys walking on eggshells around them by dudes always trying to come up with nice, unique words hoping to sweep the girl off her feet.
But that doesn’t make any difference because every other guy she meets does exactly that.
Trying to impress a girl you’ve just met communicates to her that you are needy and low value.
When you treat the girl like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like her ordinary fun. And celebrities never date their ordinary funs.
So treat her like you would any other ordinary person you’ve just met.
Do you know why just being ‘nice’ to a girl you’re approaching never cuts it?
It’s because, for most guys, it comes from a wrong mindset and intentions- to earn the girl’s approval and validation.
Most guys are not actually nice guys. They are only nice to beautiful women. So women see this as not being authentic.
If you want to be nice, be very nice to everyone not to only attractive women.
#8. Do a warm-up.
Before you try to approach girls, if you can, try to warm yourself up by starting short conversations with random students.
Say something funny to them.
This used to get me into that playful vibe that worked wonders whenever I approached girls I liked.
The truth is, there is no big difference between approaching girls you feel attracted to and starting conversations with any other random student.
#9. You shouldn’t focus too much on the results.
Forget whether the girl will like you or not after you approach her.
Don’t focus on what you will get out of the interaction like her number or a date.
Does that sounds counterintuitive? But, it has always worked for me.
And I do not doubt that it will work for you too.
Here is the reason why that attitude is good if you ever want to approach girls with confidence.
But, let me first clarify one thing here.
Not being attached to outcomes doesn’t mean that you don’t have intentions of approaching girls…
neither does it mean you don’t want positive results from your interactions.
Being less attached to outcomes simply means that you will be totally fine whether the girl you’ve approached likes you or not.
This is important because it sets you for reality – not every girl you approach will like you.
A reality that most guys aren’t willing to accept.
Secondly, you will put off that carefree vibe that young college women find so attractive.
You will feel more confident in your actions and you won’t feel hesitant whenever you would want to talk to the girl you just met.
If you shouldn’t focus on the outcomes, then what should you be focusing on most?
Focus on having fun! Your main aim should be to amuse yourself. Not to impress her to like you or to look cool in front of her like you are on a f#cking interview.
This nicely brings me to the next tip.
#10. Make the girl laugh.
Making the girl laugh will come off easier if you are having fun and not taking yourself too seriously around the girl.
Be cocky and light-hearted. Tease her by making fun of her mannerisms, her statements and how she dresses.
Making the girl laugh is important because it makes her feel comfortable around you.
I have also noticed that men who are good at attracting women also have a good sense of humour.
One of the best ways of making the girl laugh is by not filtering yourself around her and immersing yourself in humour through listening and watching a lot of comedy.
One of the most important things I learned from approaching girls during my college days is this: It’s not about what you say when you approach a girl that matters in the long run. It’s more about how you say it and the mindset behind your words and actions.
Knowing what to say or do when you approach a girl is important, but true and long term success will come from talking to girls with confidence and believing that you are an attractive guy.