How To Flirt With Girls (A Comprehensive Beginners’ Guide)

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Yo! So you checked out this article. That means you have trouble flirting with girls.

Honestly, you are not alone. Most guys find trouble flirting with girls too. Flirting isn’t something that comes as second nature to most guys.

But you don’t have to worry because that’s what I’m going to be teaching you today. I’m going to also include some examples for you to use where necessary.

Like, welcome to my TED talk.


As men, we are inclined to communicate directly rather than indirectly.


Girls can easily – and prefer to –  communicate indirectly and subtly. They love flirting. And they use it, a lot.

Remember all those times a girl would look at you flirtatiously and then immediately avert her glance?

“Does she like me?”, you started to think. (Girls will never tell you directly that they like you. So you need to learn the subtle signs if a girl likes you.)

When you see girls putting on shorts or mini-skirts disclosing much but, again, not too much.

What do you think they are doing?

They are flirting. They are teasing us. Teasing and flirting is second nature to girls.

With all that said…

What Is Flirting?

Flirting is the act of sparking sexual attraction in a girl using playful and subtle ways like playful touching, eye contact, smile and other non-verbal cues.

Flirting can also be used to signal sexual interest in a girl using subtle, fun and playful ways like teasing.

Flirting can be done using statements, actions or both.

Flirting is the way girls use non-verbal cues like making prolonged eye contact, smiling, playing with her hair, teasing you to signal to you that they like you.

A woman flirting with a man

Why Is Flirting With Girls Important

1. Flirting is important because it will help you spark instant sexual attraction in girls in a way that girls love. A way that is non-threatening and indirect.

2. Flirting can also help you communicate your interest to a girl in a way that will make her feel comfortable.

Flirting helps you communicate your interest in a girl in a way that won’t freak her out or push her away.

Imagine walking straight to an attractive girl and you say something like…

“I’d love to have sex with you” or “Can you be my girlfriend?”

That would be dumb as f**k, right?

Those statements will weird her out and they will get her running away from you.

When it comes to dating, girls are wired to communicate their sexual interests in a way that is indirect and subtle.

And that is how they want you to communicate your sexual interest to them.

That’s what all the following part of this post is all about.

One of the best ways of doing it is through flirtation.

3. Flirting is important because it builds sexual tension.

4. Flirting will make girls comfortable around you. A girl’s comfort is so important in dating.

If a girl doesn’t feel comfortable around you, it can be hard for her to feel attraction to you.

You can easily build this comfort by making playful and light-hearted comments that will make her laugh.

5. You can also use flirting as a means of testing to see if a girl is interested in you.

Whenever you flirt with a girl and she flirts back, it shows that she is interested in you.

If she doesn’t flirt back, well it could be the right time for you to move on.

6. Flirting will help you to avoid the dreaded friendzone.

By flirting through touch, deep eye contact, teasing the girl and getting physically close, it makes your interactions with the girl man to woman.

When you do not mix flirting into your conversations, they seem friendly and non-romantic.

So the girl will treat you like her best male friend aka she will have friend-zoned you.

A friend zone is a situation where you do not what to find yourself, and this is how you can avoid and get out of the friend zone.

Why Does Flirting With Girls Work At Building Instant Attraction

Girls love flirting and are naturally wired to do so

Girls love it if you show your sexual desire in a way that is playful and indirect.

Flirting is fun. There is an old saying that goes “Girls just want to have fun”. And it happens to be true.

Flirting with a girl builds curiosity and intrigue 

Both of which will make it easy for you to keep girls’ attention.

If you can keep a girl thinking about you, then she will easily fall for you.

Assuming you directly signal your interest in a girl – instead of indirectly achieving that through flirting – by telling her something like “You’re so hot Christine” 

Will she like it?

Yes! Why not?  You’ve given her validation that she’s beautiful.

But is she going to feel attracted to you because of it?

Don’t be fooled!

What’s the problem?

It kills all the mystery. It shows the girl that you already like her.

She won’t think about you when she goes back home because she has heard that word (you’re hot) several times.

She will never keep wondering whether you like her or not. She already knows it.

Flirting with a girl can make you a challenge for the girl

By flirting with a girl, you are indirectly communicating to her that you kind of like her.

It is 50/50. This keeps you as a challenge for the girl.

It means that if she wants to have your full attention, she will have to work for the other 50.

Flirting is better than asking the girl directly “Can you be my girlfriend?”.

Because, by asking her to be your girlfriend, it would imply that she already has your full attention.

So? You aren’t being a challenge.

Girls love guys who are a challenge. She wants to feel like she earned a guy’s full attention.

Flirting will also take your dating game to another level because you will set yourself apart from the majority of guys out there.

As I said, flirting is something that doesn’t come naturally to most guys. And many guys aren’t willing to learn.

So since you are here to learn how to flirt with girls, you are going to have an unfair advantage.

You Should Never Take Yourself Too Seriously When Flirting With Girls

If you want to succeed at flirting, it all comes down to not taking yourself too seriously whenever you are around girls.

You should learn to be playful. As I said, girls love having fun. Generally, no one loves being around someone so uptight.

Girls want you to show your interest in a way that is fun and exciting.

Another reason why so many men are uptight around beautiful girls?

They feel like they need to impress them.

They fear that if they say anything playful, they may look silly and lose the girl’s validation.


Basically, while interacting with girls, forget about all that you are going to get out of the interaction.

Forget about whether you will get her number or not, whether she will go out with you or not, whether she will become your girlfriend or not.

Forget about all the outcomes.

But what should you focus on instead?

Focus on the right now, on having fun and amusing yourself. Flirting with girls will become effortless.

As you will discover later in this article, flirting with girls all begins with not taking yourself too seriously around girls.

That is the most important fundamental of flirting.

How To Flirt With A Girl

You can flirt with girls in the following ways

#1. Teasing

Teasing means to make fun of a girl but, in a playful way.

Teasing will easily place you in your league since so many guys fear teasing girls for fear of losing their approval.

Teasing girls takes confidence and practice. But you can easily learn how to tease girls.

This is how you will do it…

From today onwards, start teasing random people like your buddies, your sisters and brothers, young brothers.

  • Exaggerate what they say.
  • Pretend to misinterpret their statements.
  • Playfully push them around.
  • Pretend to be dumb a person to a cashier at a supermarket.

All this will help you to develop a sense of humour and a charming personality.

This is super important because teasing will then become second nature to you.

And most importantly, you will learn the most important fundamental of teasing.

And that is, as I said, not taking yourself too seriously.

If you practice teasing on random people, the next time you meet a girl you like you will just find yourself teasing her without even thinking about it.

You will also notice that guys and Alpha males who tease girls also tease other random people. They never tease girls only. Teasing is a part of them.

However, a few people will get offended when you tease them.

But it will take practice for you to start recognizing people and girls who take themselves too seriously and when to back away if someone gets offended by your jokes or playful actions.

Basically, if you find out that many people and most girls get offended by your playful actions and jokes, it is time to step back.

You could be doing something wrong. You may need to adjust.

Flirtatious Teasing Of Girls Can Come In Different Forms

While teasing girls your body language is crucial.

You may need to put on playful facial gestures and/or a playful voice tonality so that the girl knows that you are being sarcastic.

Physical Teasing.

This may involve playfully and slightly pushing the girl away when she says, for example, anything sarcastic or annoying.

Remember all those silly things you used to do to your sisters to make them annoyed?

Other examples?

You can also roll a piece of paper and throw it to her with an exaggerated grin on your face.

When she passing very close to you, slightly and playfully bump your hips onto hers.


This involves taking what the girl has told you – preferably a shit test – to the next level that is ridiculous.

Don’t know what a shit test is? Don’t worry, I wrote an entire article about it. Read it here.

You can use exaggeration to respond to a girl’s shit test playfully and confidently.

iii) Misinterpretation.

You can use misinterpretation to frame your interactions as though the girl is trying to chase you.

For example, if a girl tells you that she likes massage.

You can reply – with a mischievous look and voice – “Hey, I know you want me to put my hands on you. But I’m not easy to get”

This will make the girl laugh and you will look confident because you aren’t scared to tease her.

Repeating Her Statements.

If a girl says something you can keep repeating after her until she notices that you are trying to mess with her.

You may also use this to reply to a girl’s shit test.

Assuming you are at a party and you ask a girl for her number and she replies

“I don’t give my number to guys I have just met”

Instead of showing her that you are disappointed, you can just repeat what she has said.

Of course in a playful, imitating and joking way.

You want to show her that you aren’t phased by her reply.

If she laughs, then you will be sure that you will finally get her number with little persistence.

As I said, the teasing comes naturally to girls. And one way girls tease guys is through shit tests.

#2. Slightly Touch Her

Slight touches are one way of communicating your interest to the girl and building attraction in a subtle way.


When you are greeting her, you can reach for her hand – whilst making eye contact with a smirk – and then hold it for a slightly longer time. You can release her hand early if she starts to feel a bit uncomfortable.

This is also a perfect way of gauging a girl’s interest in you.


If she reacts positively by not trying to pull her hand away or by not avoiding your touch (aka she feels comfortable with your touch) means that she is interested.

#3. Make A Prolonged, Deep Eye Contact.

When you see a girl you like or during a conversation, try to make deep and prolonged eye contact with her and then hold your gaze.

This will build an intense sexual tension between you and the girl.

You should make sure that you do not break eye contact before she does, lest you communicate weakness.

To flirt and build some sexual tension during a conversation

You can intentionally allow the conversation to lull and, use this opportunity to make prolonged and deep eye contact with the girl.

#4. Smile

If you want to start flirting with a girl, gaze at her and smile. It is best if you smile whilst making eye contact.

However, I’m not meaning a smile where you will be showing your teeth.

What do I mean?

A smirk!

What does a smirk mean?

Bradley cooper with a smirk

You smile with eyes whilst keeping your lips closed. You can also tilt your lips slightly to one side.

If you want to know how a perfect smirk looks like, take a look at some Hollywood celebrities like

  • Ryan Gosling.
  • Goerge Clooney.
  • Brad Pitt.
  • Bradley Cooper.

So to flirt with a girl, you should use a smirk coupled with prolonged, deep eye contact. You will look super sexy and charming to the girl.

#5. Use implications.

Implications are used to show a girl that you like her in a way that is indirect and subtle.

Implications are mysterious and will leave the girl guessing.

For example, if a girl says that she likes dogs. You can use implications by saying something like “I find girls who like dogs attractive”.

#6. Whisper In Her Ear

This is a good way of flirting with a girl at a party or bar.

Because of the noise, you can use it as an excuse to whisper in the girl’s ear to initiate touch.

It helps you to get close to the girl and/or touch her.

For example, if she is good at dancing you can get close to her and whisper in her ear something like “You are the best”.

#7. Get close to her.

A woman sitting far from the man
This is the opposite of getting close to a woman. 

Getting close to a girl will help build an intimate connection and sexual tension. This can also be a good way to flirt with a girl at a party or bar.

Again if it is a girl you like and you are hanging out with her, you will need to always be getting close to her from time to time.

If you are always physically far from the girl, it makes your interactions look like they are friendly and non-romantic.

#8. Compliment The Girl.

Complimenting a girl is one of the flirtatious ways of showing a girl that you are somehow interested in her.

Am using the word ‘somehow’ because you are not directly telling her that you like her.

When giving a girl you have just met a compliment, you should not come across as if you are trying hard to impress her and get her validation.

How do you compliment a girl you just met?

Let’s first look at what you need to avoid.

You should not use lame, direct and general compliments like “you’re so pretty” or “you’re hot”.

Then what do you need to do?

Compliment her on something she put the effort into. You want your compliments to be specific.

Things to compliment on include, but not limited to;

  • The way she has dressed her hair.
  • Her shoes.
  • Her clothes.
  • The accessories she is wearing.
  • Anything she is good at.

Any compliment on the above will come off as genuine and not kiss-assy.

But! You Shouldn’t Reveal Too Much

Flirting is about building sexual tension. It’s about building mystery and intrigue.

So you should never reveal too much about yourself to a girl.

If you do, all the intrigue and mystery will die out.

You want the girl to keep thinking about you because then she will be wondering about you and wanting to know more about you.

However, you shouldn’t misunderstand this concept and start acting cold to girls you like. You should reveal some things about yourself.

Remember what I told you about outfits girls put on?

So take flirting with girls like those tempting dresses.

They drive you to go out of your way and approach the girl. Like, you want to find out more.

Now, bro! Do you feel me?

Final Thoughts.

Flirting is a dating skill that comes naturally to girls, but a lot of guys have trouble with it.

Because men are naturally very logical, most guys end up using direct and boring means of showing their interest in girls.

Instead of sparking attraction in girls using subtle, playful and indirect ways, many guys will want to verbally and logically convince a girl to like them.

But, again this never works because attraction is not something a woman has to think about.

The attraction has nothing to do with logic. It has everything to do with emotions. That’s where flirting comes in.

So if you learn the basics of flirting, you will separate yourself above the pack.

If you master how to show interest in girls or spark attraction in girls in a way that is subtle, emotional and playful, you will have an unfair advantage.

To Recap

How can you flirt with girls

• Teasing

• Slight touching

• Making prolonged deep eye contact

• Smiling

• Using implications

• Whispering in her ear

• Getting close to her

• Complimenting the girl

I hope this article has helped you    (and hey, if you think it’s cool, I’d appreciate it if you’d share it on social media.)

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