Keeping a conversation going with a girl you are attracted to can be pretty tough.
If you learn the basics I’m going to give you in this article, keeping a conversation going with a girl will become so easy.
As a rule of thumb, keeping a conversation going with a girl is more about getting the girl to do a lot of the talking.
Girls love to talk. When you master how to get a girl to do most of the talking, then keeping a conversation going with a girl will be so easy.
All you will need to do is be laid back and actively listen to her.
Even though am emphasising to let the girl do most of the talking, however, you may have to do most of the talking at the start of the conversation.
You will easily keep a conversation going with a girl if you avoid conversation killers, limit interview and factual questions, ask the girl open-ended questions, do not filter yourself, do not seek her approval, actively listen to her, embrace moments of silence and do not make your conversations too logical.
But one thing you need to know is that your conversations with fellow guys are supposed to be different from your conversations with girls.
As guys, our conversations naturally tend to be direct, logical and straight to the point whereas conversations between girls are more emotional, indirect and open-ended.
If you know that difference, you will easily keep a conversation going with a girl.
More on that later. Just keep reading.
How do you keep a conversation going with a girl?
Keeping a conversation going with a girl is about knowing what you are supposed to do and what you need to avoid.
And that’s what I’m going to talk about.
Let’s get to it.
#1. Avoid using conversation killers.
Conversation killers are road-block phrases that kill the flow of the conversation.
Phrases like “that’s cool”, “ok”, “great”, “awesome” will prevent any deeper conversation going with a girl.
They do not warrant any response from a girl.
Instead of using roadblock phrases, you should use statements that make the conversation open-ended.
You can use open-ended statements like “I’m curious: tell me more” if a girl told you an interesting statement.
You have to use statements that warrant a detailed response from the girl.
#2. Limit interview and factual questions.
You can ask a girl a few transactional questions like when you want to know her name, but you should make sure that you limit them.
As I said, girls love conversations that are more emotional and less logical.
You need to avoid asking a girl a lot of transactional questions that warrant the girl to give 2-3 word, factual responses.
For example, questions like “which college do you study from?”, ” In which year are you?”, “where do you come from?”.
All these statements make conversations stay at the surface level and on small talk.
You can’t keep a conversation going with a girl with such statements because they are boring.
If you can’t resist asking a transactional question,
i) You can first make a statement(s) then follow it with a question.
For example, if you want to know where she comes from, you can first state where you come from and then ask her.
ii) You can simply state your name/residence, then pause for a few seconds and wait for her to tell you her name/where she resides.
If she doesn’t, (which could be a sign that she is less interested in you) then you can go ahead and ask for her name/residence.
This is way much better than asking her something like “what’s your name?” then after a few seconds “Are you from this town/city?”, the next few seconds “Which college do you go to?”.
iii) Another alternative – this is exciting, flirty and witty – can be guessing a girl’s response.
For example, you find yourself seated next to an attractive girl on public transport and, you would like to talk to her.
But you are wondering how you will keep a conversation going beyond the small talk.
You can get the conversation going with her by simply guessing her name by saying something like “Hi”.
You: “You’re Christine, right!”
Her: “hahaha, am Jane”
You: Am Martin.
Her: (with a surprised look) “why did you think am Christine?”
and booooom now you have the conversation going with a pretty girl you’ve just met.
#3. Ask her open-ended questions.
Instead of interviewing the girl and replying to her statements with roadblock phrases, you should instead ask her open-ended questions.
Open-ended questions keep the conversation going with a girl because they warrant the girl to answer your question in detail.
For example, assuming a girl says that she was at Justine Bieber’s concert or any other artist’s concert.
It will kill the conversation if you ask the girl transactional questions like “where was that concert?” or “when was that concert?”.
It will also be hard to keep the conversation going with a girl if you reply with statements like “wow, that was cool” or “great”.
You should instead ask her an open-ended question by saying something like “That’s awesome. How did it feel like to see him perform live?” or you can ask her about what she finds interesting about the artist who performed at the concert.
#4. Never filter yourself.
You should always say what is on your mind if you want to keep your conversations going with a girl.
That’s very important at the start of the conversation where you would need to do a lot of the talking to warm up the girl.
The main reason guys run out of things to say is that they are always in their head and filtering themselves.
They want to come up with the best thing to say to a girl.
They do not want to mess up the conversation so they end up second-guessing and judging every single word they say.
This causes them to freeze.
You can easily keep the conversation going with a girl if you are not putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
So this is why it may also be important to set an environment where you won’t feel a lot of pressure and anxiety.
For example, instead of taking a girl to dinner for your first or second date, you may take the girl for coffee or ice cream or an evening walk or any random fun activity.
Another advantage of informal dates – like going for coffee or ice cream – will not put a lot of pressure on girl too.
Girls tend to feel anxious and put pressure on themselves on dinner first dates.
Remember, you want the girl to do most of the talking. But she will easily do this if she feels less pressure and anxiety.
Another instance where you may need to feel less pressure to keep a conversation going with a girl is when you are talking on the phone.
You will feel less anxious if you are talking on the phone while doing some other activity like cleaning your house or simply walking around.
#5. Never think that you need to impress the girl.
When you interact with a girl with a mindset of wanting to impress her, you will have a hard time keeping the conversation going.
You will have a hard time keeping the conversation going with a girl because you will be putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
As I said, success in having free-flowing conversations with girls comes from not putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
You have to realise that you do not need to impress a girl.
You do not need her approval.
Take the mindset that you are trying to know her by asking her open-ended questions.
Besides, trying to impress a girl and seeking her validation makes you look needy and less attractive.
Why would you try to impress someone you barely know?
Are you that desperate?
I hope not.
If you do not want to come off as trying to impress the girl – which ends up putting a lot of pressure on you – never become attached to an outcome.
This doesn’t mean that you should not have goals like getting a girl’s number, asking the girl out, turning a girl into your girlfriend or having sex with the girl.
It simply means that you have to create the right conditions for achieving your goals but at the same time, not be worried so much about whether you will achieve them or not.
You might what to ask me, “If I don’t focus on the outcome, what should I focus on?”
Focus on is having fun with the girl at that time.
When on a date or when talking to a girl you have just met, have a plan for achieving your goals but focus on having fun.
Focus on having fun and your conversations with a girl will keep flowing effortlessly.
#6. Actively listen to her.
As I said, your main role in conversations with girls is listening.
You need to pay a lot of attention to the girl when she is talking to you.
When she notices that you are not paying attention by, for example, playing with your phone, darting your eyes around, she will lose interest in talking to you.
When you show the girl that you are actively listening, the conversation will keep going because you are encouraging the girl to keep on talking.
How can you be an active listener?
- Face the girl with your whole body.
- Open up your body.
- Make prolonged eye contact with the girl.
- Never try to interrupt her until she is done talking.
- Lean into her – not all the time, though.
- Mirroring her body language.
- Touch her, sometimes.
Be genuinely interested and pay attention to what the girl has to say and all the above will come naturally.
Note: You should face the girl with your whole body or lean into her when she has already invested in you or when her interest in you is high.
You may need to lean back and face the girl with part of your body, for example, when you have just met her.
#7. Embrace the moments of silence.
You should never be afraid of the moments of silence with a girl.
You should remain calm, cool and confident.
You can use the moments of silence as an opportunity to flirt with the girl other than trying so hard to keep the conversation going.
When you find yourself in a moment of silence, make eye contact with a girl and then put on a smirk.
Wait until the girl re-starts the conversation to keep it going or you can come in to keep it going.
Bonus tip: You may intentionally let the conversation lull on a girl’s end to test her interest levels, for example, while talking on the phone or when on a date.
If she comes in quickly to keep the conversation going, it shows that her interest levels in you are high.
However, if she doesn’t restart the conversation, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she isn’t interested in you…
at least she is still having a conversation with you. You can keep acting in a confident, attractive way and raise her interest levels.
#8. Do not make your conversations too logical.
As I said, you need to let a girl do most of the talking during your conversations.
Since the girl will be doing most of the talking, your conversations should be emotionally relevant.
The open-ended questions that you ask the girl have to be emotionally relevant.
Girls love emotionally relevant conversations. They find them exciting.
Logical and rational conversations tend to be boring to most girls.
Look at what you talk about with your guy friends and compare it with what any group of girls talk about.
You will distinguish what interests girls from what we find interesting.
So when talking with a girl, you should avoid logical conversations and topics and gravitate towards more emotional topics.
A girl will not give a damn about your reasons why you think ios is better than android.
Mastering the skill of having successful conversations with girls is crucial if you want to attract hot girls and keep their attention.
If you practice the above ideas, you will easily keep a conversation going with a girl and this shall separate you from a lot of guys out there.
You keep a conversation going with a girl, in summary, by;
1. Avoiding conversation killers
2. Limiting interview and factual questions
3. Asking the girl open-ended questioning
4. Not filtering yourself
5. Never thinking that you need to impress her
6. Actively listening to her
7. Embracing the moments of silence
8. Making your conversations emotionally relevant.
I hope this article has helped you on how to keep a conversation going with a girl. If you have digged it, do not hesitate to share it with your homies on social media.