“How to make a girl open up emotionally?” That’s one of the best questions you will ever ask yourself.
If you want to a girl to become attracted to you, become your girlfriend and hook up with her, then she needs to open up emotionally to you.
If a girl doesn’t open up emotionally to you, it becomes impossible to build an emotional connection with the girl and, this emotional bond is what you need to turn her into your girlfriend or get physical with her.
More assertive girls usually open up easily. However, girls who are introverted and shy do not easily open emotionally.
So if you want to make a girl open up emotionally, you have to make sure that you ask her open-ended questions, listen to her, relate to her emotions, use gentle touches often, never judge her, make her laugh and hangout on a fun activity with her.
How can you make a girl open up emotionally?
In the following part of this article, I will show you;
- What you need to do for a girl to open up emotionally.
- How you can do it using suitable examples where necessary.
- What you should avoid not to kill any chances of her opening up.
#1. Ask the girl open-ended questions.
The easiest way to make a girl open up emotionally is by engaging her in emotionally relevant conversations.
You can simply do this by asking the girl open-ended questions that are emotionally relevant.
The open-ended questions have to be emotionally relevant if you want her to open up emotionally and build an emotional bond.
You should never ask the girl transactional questions or questions that require the girl to give short answers and responses.
You must also avoid using short roadblock phrases that kill the flow of conversations.
For example, if the girl tells you that she went to a beach in South Africa.
Which kind of questions would you ask her so she opens up?
Would you ask her questions like
- “When did you go to South Africa”?
- “How long did you spend there”?
- “Which part of South Africa did go to”?
Stop being predictable and boring.
Such questions do not provide any opportunity for a girl to open up emotionally.
For a girl to open up emotionally, you have to ask the girl questions that will make her share the emotions and feelings she has or had.
You should also never use roadblock phrases like…
- “ooh that was cool”
- “Me too”
All these phrases never warrant any response from the girl which kills the flow of the conversation and, make your interactions with the girl boring and predictable.
As I said, if you want a girl to open up emotionally, you have to ask her open-ended questions that will make her describe the emotional experiences she had.
Back to the beach example, you can say something like “wow, it seems you had lots of fun. What’s so cool about South African beaches? I see lots of adverts about them” or “It seems you liked it a lot. What was the coolest part of your trip?”
By using the word “cool”, it warrants the girl to talk about all the excitement, fun and pleasure she had during the trip.
When you do this, the girl will feel excited, relaxed and comfortable around you. This will make it easier for her to open up.
As I said, one of the best ways of having the girl open up emotionally is by engaging in emotionally relevant conversations.
This means that you should limit conversations about logical topics as much as possible but, gravitate towards emotionally relevant topics.
Logical topics you should avoid;
• Sex (If she is comfortable, you may indirectly talk about sex)
• Video Games
Emotionally relevant conversations that girls like;
• Food and cooking
• Celebrity gossip and pop culture
• Child memories
Logical topics tend to be boring to 95% of girls.
So when you bring up logical topics, she will often have nothing to say. But if you bring up emotionally relevant topics, she will be excited and will have a lot to say.
And this is what you want. You want a girl the girl to talk about her interests so that she will easily open up.
You want the girl to do most of the talking and you do the majority of the listening.
This brings me to the next point.
#2. Be a good listener.
When you actively listen to her by paying total attention to what the girl has to say, she will feel like you care.
This will make the girl open up emotionally because she has found someone who cares about her and what she has to say.
It is very rare, nowadays, to find a person who is willing to actively listen to someone.
So when you go ahead and listen to her, she will easily open up.
When she’s talking, try to always make prolonged eye contact. It’s going to make her feel like you are paying attention.
Have you ever talked to someone about something so important to you, but the other person wasn’t making eye contact?
How did you feel?
Did you feel like you needed to keep on talking?
Of course you didn’t.
We all do.
It’s the same feeling the girl will get if you’re not making enough eye contact with her.
She will feel like what she’s letting out is useless and crap. She it is going to get harder for her to open up.
That said, you need to break eye contact some times to make her feel comfortable.
You need to make eye contact 70-80% of the time while she’s talking to you.
More on being a good listener;
- Give the girl positive body language by facing her with your body.
- Do not try to interrupt her until she is done talking.
- Never one up her trying to prove that you are smart.
- Feel relaxed and be attentive.
- Remove any physical barriers between the two of you like tables.
- Open up your body. It makes you likeable.
- Mirror her actions.
The girl will open up easily if you show her that you are actively listening to what she has to say. This brings to the next point.
#3. Ask the girl to hang out.
You can create the right conditions for engaging the girl in emotionally relevant conversations and actively listening to her by hanging out with her.
You may ask the girl to join you on a specific fun activity like bicycling, hiking, a walk at the beach or park, taking ice cream or coffee or any other activity that is not associated with traditional dates.
The reason you are taking the girl to non-traditional dates is that traditional dates like dinner dates put a lot of pressure on girls.
The girl will find it difficult opening up because she would want to impress you. She would want to be at her best.
She will feel like you are trying to judge her during your dinner date.
When you take a girl to hang out on a fun activity, she will always feel relaxed and comfortable.
It is just a simple fun activity so she will easily be herself and not tense.
She will easily open up because there is no pressure on her end.
She will be focused on having fun. When people are feeling less nervous or feeling happy and excited, they find it easy to open up.
#4. Relate to her emotions.
This is one of the best ways of making a girl open up emotionally.
How do you relate to a girl’s emotions?
I will explain this using examples.
Assuming she tells you something that excited her.
How do you respond?
Share an experience where you felt excitement.
When she tells you a sad story, you may also share an experience where you felt sad.
Generally, when a girl tells you something or shares a story, you need to dig for the underlying emotions and feelings.
Then relate to those feelings and emotions by sharing experiences where you felt those same emotions.
When you relate to a girl’s feelings, she will feel validated for her emotions.
She will feel like it’s ok to feel sad, angry, embarrassed, disappointed, happy, excited and this will cause her to trust you and open up more.
When you open up by relating to the girl’s emotions, she will feel free and safe to open up emotionally.
Relating to a girl’s feelings and emotions also helps to create an emotional bond with her.
When you to have an emotional bond, the girl will trust you more and, open up more.
#5. Touch her, gently.
Your touches should be gentle, friendly, not forced.
You can give her handshakes, high fives, hugs and small touches on her upper hand or shoulder.
When you touch a girl, it removes the sense of separation.
It is the sense of separation that will make a girl not to open up emotionally.
Another way of removing a sense of separation is by sharing the same seat with a girl or trying as much as possible sitting close to her.
#6. Do not appear like you are judging her.
As I said, you will have a harder time trying to make a shy or introverted girl open up emotionally.
This is because shy and, introverted girls have a lot of fear of being judged.
So you should never try to judge a girl’s actions, behaviours and experiences.
If a girl realizes that you are trying to judge her, she will find it harder to open up emotionally to you.
Never say statements like “why did you that”? or “You should have blah blah”?
#7. Be humorous.
If you can make the girl laugh, she will feel less tense and less pressure.
She will feel comfortable and relaxed whenever she is around you.
This will make her to easily open up emotionally because she will feel relaxed and comfortable.
Laughter can also be used as a bonding experience.
Making a girl open up emotionally is very crucial if you want to move your interactions with a girl in a positive direction.
When you get a girl to open up emotionally, she feels attracted to you. She will feel connected to you.
She feels comfortable around you which makes her to easily get physical with you.
If you want to make a girl open up emotionally, you have to make sure that you;
1. Ask the girl open-ended questions.
2. Be a good listener.
3. Relate to her emotions and feelings.
4. Touch her often, gently.
5. Do not appear like you are judging her.
6. Be humorous.
7. Ask the girl to hang out.
I hope this article has helped you on how to make a girl open up emotionally.