Have you ever sent a desperate text message to a girl you’re trying to talk to? You know the one. It’s frantic and full of too many emojis.
What is the worst part about it? You probably haven’t heard from her since.
If you want to learn how to avoid this in the future, keep reading! I’ll go over the dos and don’ts of how to text a girl online to keep her interested.
How to Text Her After Getting Her Number
Getting her number was only the first part of the challenge. Now, you have to make an impression, so she’ll find you interesting enough to save your contact.
If you don’t do this next step well, you will likely end up in an archive of other messages from men that didn’t make the cut.
Below are some tips to ensure she’ll remember you (in a good way!) and save your contact.
#1. Text her immediately after getting her number.
The best way to be memorable is to text her right after you get her number. This will ensure she’ll know precisely who’s texting her, and she won’t forget about you.
Try to text her about an hour or two after getting her number.
If you got her number at a club or bar, it’s best to wait until the morning to send the first text.
You don’t want your message to come across as a booty call; this can give her the wrong impression.
#2. Be straight to the point and specific.
The first text should be short, sweet, and to the point.
For example, “Hey! It’s Brad. We just met at the dog park. It was great talking to you ☺.”
It should be more than just “hi,” and less than a couple of lines. You don’t want to come off too strong.
The first text should always include your name and where you met, so she knows who’s texting her.
Also, adding a little comment about the meeting will give her something to respond to.
#3. Always let her text be the last one in the conversation.
Letting her text message be the last to end the conversation will make it so she’ll be waiting to hear from you the next day.
This is a great way to keep her interested and excited!
#4. Let your texts be clear and concise.
In the beginning stages, it’s best not to overshare or make your messages longer than they need to be.
Keep them short, simple, and sweet.
Save the longer conversations for phone calls or when you’re meeting up with her in person.
#5. Keep your texts light and playful.
You don’t want to scare her away by oversharing way too soon. Keep the conversations positive and fun.
Crack a joke and flirt a little, and she’ll likely reciprocate!
#6. Mirror her texts.
You can mirror her texts by paying attention to how long she responds and responding in the same amount of time (if she’s into you, this will likely get her to respond faster).
You can also mirror her by reciprocating the length of her messages or the language she uses.
How to Impress Her Over Text
When you communicate through text, you miss out on all the other non-verbal cues we rely on when we flirt face-to-face.
This is why it’s so important to be engaging and creative with your words when texting the girl you’re into!
#1. Don’t actively try to impress Her.
The conversation should feel natural and fun. If you try too hard, it’ll be obvious, and she’ll notice.
Girls like a bit of charm, but too much attention comes off as desperate instead. It’s not a good look.
#2. Be unreactive.
If you notice the girl you’re texting is taking longer to respond or is giving you shorter replies. Don’t react emotionally!
Reacting or sending multiple texts will give her the impression of emotional immaturity and neediness.
Two major turn-offs.
She may just be busy or stressed on that day. If this is the case, you’ll ruin anything you had by reacting.
Show her you have a healthy level of independence by not being bothered if she doesn’t make the time in her busy schedule to respond to you.
#3. Be yourself.
This one may seem obvious, but the best way to win over the right girl is to be yourself! Show her your unique sense of humor and your natural energy.
Don’t try to be someone you’re not; I promise you’ll stand out from the other guys trying to hit her up!
#4. Don’t be boring.
When texting a girl, it’s essential to keep the conversation fun and exciting if you want her to text back.
Show her your funny side and throw in some humor!
Don’t send her the same “Good morning” text every day. This can get old quickly; it’ll kill any mystery she’s had for you.
#5. Become an expert at something.
Are you knowledgeable about a particular subject? Maybe you rock climb or play an instrument?
Teach her a little about the subject, and you’ll keep her intrigued!
It’s important not to force your knowledge into the conversation. Let it come up naturally, and then go in with your expertise.
This is a great way to impress her!
#6. Be a challenge.
Women find confidence attractive! They get approached a lot by men, so you need to stand out if you want a chance.
A great way to do this is to be a challenge (don’t get this confused with being rude, manipulative, or challenging to be around).
The trick is not to be overly available yet still show her you have some interest. This is important because if you don’t show any interest at all, you’ll come off as aloof, and she’ll move on in a heartbeat.
Have a little mystery, and don’t give in too quickly!
When it comes to humans in general, the harder we work, the more gratifying the outcome. It’s in our nature.
How to Keep a Text Conversation Going
Are you starting to feel the conversation begin to dull, and you don’t want the conversation to end?
Fortunately, there are plenty of ways to liven up the conversation!
#1. Send her open-ended questions.
Send her open-ended questions but make sure they’re interesting.
A simple “What are you up to,” won’t get you very far. Here are some good examples of open-ended questions:
- What’s at the top of your bucket list?
- What’s your biggest fear/dream?
- What would you do if you won the lottery today?
- How do you feel about X event/genre/artist?
#2. Make intriguing statements.
Pique her interest by making statements that will evoke some curiosity!
For example:
- I have an idea that I think you’ll love. Do you want to hear it?
- The wildest thing happened today!
- You won’t believe what I just saw.
#3. Give the girl some space.
You don’t need to talk every day. It’s a sure way to make her feel bored if you’re just getting to know each other.
Give her space from time to time, and give her a chance to miss you!
#4. Be carefree.
Don’t overthink or place too much importance on your response! It doesn’t have to be perfect.
I know that may sound easier said than done when you’re talking to someone you’re deeply attracted to.
But when you stay true to who you are, she’ll find your natural confidence very attractive.
#5. Be funny!
It’s true what they say about funny guys; girls love them! The more you can get her to laugh, the more she’ll be interested in you and the conversation.
It may be a good idea to try and get an idea of her sense of humor first, so you don’t accidentally make things awkward.
How to Keep Her Attention
If you’re already talking to a girl and she’s responding consistently, chances are you already have her attention.
If you’re worried about keeping her attention, there are some things you can do to ensure she doesn’t get bored or forget about you.
#1. Text shortly after getting her number.
Texting her shortly after getting her number is always a good idea. It’ll make you more memorable, and it shows her that you actually follow through!
It’s best to send the first text about an hour or two after getting her number. Avoid sending the text late in the evening, this gives off booty call vibes, and most girls are not into it.
#2. Resist the temptation to text her all the time.
You don’t have to text her all day, every day. It’s best to text her a couple of days a week at most when you’re just started to get to know her.
Texting her too often can be annoying, and it gives off “needy” energy.
#3. Don’t text back immediately.
Texting back within a few seconds might not be the best approach. The sweet spot is typically between 15-20 minutes.
It shows her that you value the conversation, but also makes it so you don’t come off as desperate.
#4. Let your texts be spontaneous and exciting.
Just as it is with funny guys, girls love it when a guy can be spontaneous and exciting!
You can send her a silly gif or meme instead of a typical “good morning” or “hey.”
If you have her on Snapchat, send her a snap with a clever caption.
#5. Text her with the right amount of consistency.
The best way to determine the correct number of texts to send a girl is to go by how many she sends you.
If you text her too much, you’ll annoy her and ruin any chance you have.
#6. Let her text first.
A great way to determine if you have her attention is to see if she’ll text you first. Go a few days without texting her and see what happens!
If a week goes by and still no text, likely, she wasn’t into you.
#7. Avoid long and heavy texts.
The rule of thumb is to keep things light and upbeat when you’re just starting to get to know a girl.
Give her a reason to smile, and she’ll be happy to text you!
#8. Flirt with her.
Flirting is key to keeping a girl interested!
When you’re trying to flirt, avoid coming off too strongly. Keep things light, and emojis are always a good idea.
How to Flirt With a Girl Over Text
Flirting over text can be trickier than flirting when you’re face to face. You don’t have non-verbal cues or body language to help you out.
But it can be done! Here are a few pointers to help you out when flirting over text.
#1. Tease her over text.
Teasing can be a great way to flirt, but make sure you don’t accidentally offend her!
It can be tricky to tease over text because messages can easily be misinterpreted. Keep things light!
It’s a good idea to use emojis and the right punctuation to ensure your message comes across the way you want it to.
Also, don’t make personal jokes about her appearance or other touchy subjects.
For example, let’s say she texted you about an embarrassing moment during her day. Don’t respond with “Wow, you’re dumb lol.”
Instead, tease her with more light-hearted language, like “You’re such a goof! 😂”
Try sending her cute texts that will make her smile.
#2. Compliment her.
Who doesn’t like a good compliment? Sending her a compliment is a great way to make her smile!
A simple “Hey beautiful!” can have a great impact!
Going overboard can come off as creepy, so be sure to keep it light.
#3. Make positive assumptions.
If you’ve been flirting and texting back and forth for a while, a great way to build a deeper connection is to make a guess or a positive assumption.
For example, “I feel like you love music. There’s a live band playing in town tomorrow. Want to go?”
Positive assumptions can be really exciting to a girl. It’ll make her feel like you pay attention, take the initiative, and have confidence!
You can base your assumptions on conversations you had with her, her mannerisms, and her style.
#4. Use light and casual texts.
Using strong or suggestive language can be a huge turn-off and can creep her out. Keep it light and casual!
A good tip is to match her energy and language.
Why She Takes Ages to Reply
There could be several reasons she’s taking longer to reply, and it doesn’t always mean she’s lost interest.
Knowing how to respond when the girl you’re talking to is hard to reach is key to avoiding driving her away for good.
#1. She is busy.
If she usually responds quickly but only takes a while to respond now, there’s a good chance she is busy.
Don’t take it personally. Give her space, and she’ll respond when she’s free! Continuously sending her texts for reassurance can be frustrating.
So, avoid sending double or triple texts to get her attention. This is a surefire way to lose her.
#2. Your text messages are boring and monotonous.
If your texts are boring, she has nothing to reply to and will quickly lose interest.
Keep things fun, exciting, and spontaneous to avoid boring her!
#3. She isn’t into texting.
Some girls, especially those with busy lifestyles, might not be into texting. They don’t like having to take time out of their day to respond.
Don’t take it personally. These girls prefer phone calls or FaceTime and won’t even communicate with their friends through text!
#4. She’s texting another guy
If you noticed a shift in the energy she’s putting into your texting conversations, she’s likely moved on to someone else.
It happens! In this case, it’s best to move on yourself.
#5. She is losing interest in you.
If she responds hours later consistently, there is a good chance she is losing interest. She just isn’t prioritizing your conversations anymore.
Give her some space and wait a few days before trying to start another conversation. If the energy and response time hasn’t changed, then you know it’s time to move on.
#6. She is playing hard to get.
If a woman plays hard to get, it’ll come across as more of a playful challenge. It won’t look like short, emotionless replies and long response times.
She’ll tease and challenge you as a way to test where your feeling lay. Or, she might not be 100% sure about how she feels about you yet.
The difference between complete disinterest and playing hard to get is that she’ll still show some affection toward you if she is interested.
#7. She had forgot reply.
Either she’s busy, or she has something major going on in her life at the moment.
She may respond when she remembers your text, but she isn’t prioritizing you or your conversations at the time.
Should I Wait or Send Her Another Text if She Doesn’t Reply
Always wait! Give her time to respond before sending another text.
If she’s genuinely busy, blowing up her phone may drive her away. If she is already starting to lose interest, this will turn her off even further.
Blowing up her phone can come across as being needy, pushy, and emotionally immature.
These are all major turnoffs for women.
Should you give up if she doesn’t reply?
It depends on the situation. If it is a straight-up ghosting situation? Then yes, move on! She has no interest in being in contact with you.
Don’t waste your energy on a girl that won’t reach out first or consistently doesn’t respond to your texts.
However, if this is the first time, you shouldn’t give up too soon. She could be busy or going through something stressful.
Just give her the space she needs, and if she is genuinely interested in you, she’ll keep the communication going when she’s ready!
How do you know if she is interested?
After you give her space (3-4 days), text her something short and sweet. If she responds, she still has an interest in you.
If the pattern of long response times and short replies continues, then you know she doesn’t want anything with you.
Why doesn’t she let you know directly if she isn’t interested?
In most cases, girls don’t want to deal with the confrontation. It’s safer to let the communication taper off slowly.
She doesn’t know if you’ll react badly to rejection, so she’d rather you get bored and lose interest on your own.
It may seem frustrating if you want a clear answer, but you can always be upfront and ask her if she’s interested in anything more.
If she’s polite, she’ll let you know the truth about how she’s feeling about you.
How to Respond When She Doesn’t Text Back
It can be discouraging if the girl you’re into isn’t interested in you anymore.
Especially if it happens without any explanation.
No matter the reason for her change of heart, it’s important to know how to respond when things don’t go as you had hoped.
#1. Stop messaging her.
If it’s clear that she just isn’t into you, it’s best to stop wasting energy by trying to keep any communication going.
Continuing to massage her will make it much harder to move on and may even give you the reputation of a creep.
#2. Focus on your life.
Work on your self-improvement! Whatever your version of self-improvement looks like, do it.
Start going to the gym, eat healthier, or work on furthering your career. Women are drawn to men with confidence and healthy mindsets.
By improving yourself, you may attract someone who is a better fit for you.
#3. Talk to other girls.
One rejection doesn’t mean you are entirely undesirable and shouldn’t deter you from trying again with someone else.
By focusing your attention on another person, you may move on quicker than you thought!
#4. Do not be so attached to outcomes.
It’s okay for things not to work out. It happens to everyone at some point.
Don’t get too caught up in the outcome, and focus on your future.
#5. You can call her on the phone.
If you need closure on why things didn’t work out, try calling her. The reason could be completely unrelated to you.
If it is, you can use it as an opportunity to self-reflect and keep in mind the next time you’re texting a girl.
However, if she doesn’t pick up or return your call, leave it at that. Delete her number if it helps you. You don’t want to be labeled as a creep.
#6. Do not take things personally.
Some people just aren’t a great fit, and that’s okay! For your mental health, don’t take things personally if you get rejected.
Everyone has different types; chances are, you weren’t hers. If this is the case, things could’ve ended badly if you had ended up in a relationship with her.
#7. Keep your cool.
Always, always, remember to stay calm. If you react badly, it could ruin how other women perceive you.
Girls like to warn other girls of any bad experiences they had with men to protect each other. In the age of TikTok and Instagram, girls like to make public posts if the experience was especially bad.
All you have to do is look up the hashtags #crazyexboyfriend, #toxicexcheck, or #storytime for loads of examples.
#8. Realize you are a high-value man.
Don’t lose your confidence just because of a rejection! We all want different things when it comes to relationships.
Just because one girl didn’t like what you had to offer, it doesn’t make you any less valuable.
A high-value man has self-respect. You can show this by working on improving yourself and being amicable when things don’t go your way.
#9. Don’t double-text.
Double texting is when you send another text after not receiving a response to the first one. This is a big no-no. It shows her that you’re insecure and needy.
It can also give her the impression that you don’t respect her time or energy. You don’t want her telling other women about how clingy you are. If she needs space, let her have it.
#10. Never text her all day, every day.
If she isn’t responding, don’t blow up her phone! Respect her time and show her that you aren’t desperate and needy.
If you continue to text her without getting any response, you may just get your number blocked.
#11. Don’t text her immediately.
When she finally texts you back, don’t jump on your phone to send her an immediate response. This can come off as desperation.
Wait 30 minutes to an hour and match her energy.
#12. Let her be the one to text first.
Give her some space, and she may reach out to you first if she still has some interest in you.
If you never hear from her, you have a definitive answer of how she feels about you, and it’s best to move on.
#13. Keep your texts short.
If you know you’re on the tail end of the relationship, keep your messages short. You don’t have to send her a novel.
She isn’t interested in hearing what you have to say or continuing the conversation if she responds in 1-3 word sentences.
#14. You don’t need to impress her.
This goes without saying. If you have already concluded that things just aren’t working out, then you don’t have to put any effort into trying to impress her.
Focus your energy elsewhere!
Main Takeaway
It’s important to remember that no matter the outcome, just have fun and don’t take things so seriously!
Keeping things light and laid back is key. I hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to text a girl online so you’ll be successful the next time you find someone you like. Enjoyed this article? Be sure to check out DnR for more relationship and dating advice!
